Love can be complicated and truly loving someone means you want what is best for those you love. Sure, the good times are great, but there will come those occasions that require your ability to deliver honest communication even when it is not often appreciated. Although it may hurt, you may be the only person that keeps them balanced or acknowledging reality when they need it most. Allowing someone to continue on a path that is detrimental to his or her well-being is not love.
Sometimes that destructive behavior is concealed, however, being tuned into someone will allow you to detect unhealthy or inconsistent changes in behavior or habits. If someone is hurting, they may be searching for something or someone to help distract them from their pain or to help find a resolve. Let them find you there until they trust you enough to submit to being helped properly. Continue to love them so they get it and realize your beautiful role in their life.
3 Indicators it’s Time to Talk
- Passion turns to frustration
- Plagued with a lingering sadness
- A preference to be alone if it is not typical behavior
If you note that they need professional help or if you are unsure, recommend that they seek it or help them find it. Love cares through the best and worst of times.
Love can see what most cannot. –Marala Scott
When it comes to those days where nothing seems to be going the way you need it, don’t worry, things will improve once you change your way of thinking. It helps when you step back and allow whatever is unavoidable to happen, especially since it was going to take place regardless. If you did whatever you could to avoid it, but it didn’t make a difference, let it go. Hanging on to what you can’t control will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean accept failure or submit to the problem at hand, it simply means release the burden at that moment so you can gather your thoughts, compose yourself, and take time to rethink the situation or create another strategy.
How do you release it?
- Take time to learn how to solve the problem instead of becoming a part of it.
- Discuss the situation with someone you trust who gives unbiased and solid advice that will help diffuse your negative mindset.
- Don’t discuss a negative situation with negative people.
- Step back and take in a breath of fresh air. Go to a movie, listen to music, meditate or do something calming that will help recalibrate your way of thinking.
- Look at all sides rather than just yours and give an honest evaluation.
- Understand that it’s not the end, especially if you are looking for a positive resolution.
Overreacting can make things worse and talking about it while you are upset is a sure way to overshare thoughts that you may regret later. There’s a lot more you have to do so learn to accept that you cannot control, fix or stop every situation. Sometimes, in that moment it’s hard to believe that it will be okay, but it will.
Do you ever wonder why you aren’t out there accomplishing more? If you are accepting of your life but not happy with where you are, it’s time to change your thought process. There is so much more to life than you may realize. When it came to the things I loved, I did them with passion but one day, I realized I was running the same routine while looking at the rest of the world from inside of what seemed to be a safe globe. I did the things that I was familiar with, but I didn’t pursue the opportunities that made me happy. I felt stuck.
There came a point when I decided to step outside of my comfort zone so that I could learn more about myself. When I realized there were many things I loved to do and learn about, I allowed those things to be a part of my life. Ultimately, I was happier as I discovered there was more to me than I expressed. I had ambitions, passion, and an innate desire to help others.
Through self-discovery, I learned to love myself unconditionally, which allowed me to be better at loving others. I came to understand the true purpose of my life. Sometimes, people need a little help beginning, what may seem like, a difficult process but they too can do it. It’s vital to your success not to be afraid of life. Break the cycle of living a life that isn’t fulfilling, but normal to you since it’s all you know. Dare to rewrite your story and begin to live with a different outlook on life because there is more to be discovered.
Where to begin:
1. Learn to stop being uninspired or stuck
2. End self-defeating patterns
3. Conquer limitations
If you are ready to transform your life and live in the Los Angeles area, this is a great place to start:
I have a passion for life! I love who I am and above all, I love God. It is God that taught me to love myself. Then, the need for others to love me didn’t exist, but I learned why it is essential for me to love others. I was apprehensive about becoming a parent. It wasn’t something that was natural for me since my childhood had a narrative that was nothing less than horrific and scarring. Once I was, the test began and the one thing I wanted to get right in life more than anything else, was parenting. As a mother, the choice became mine to submit to what I was familiar with or do something to change the lucid visions that could hurl a fragile and scared little girl into her own dark world. I was determined not to replicate the abuse and pain. I made the decision to leave it behind, taking only the good experiences and memories, although it wasn’t easy.
I remembered my painful tears as a child and promised myself that I would provide my children with the things I prayed for. I wanted them to laugh from their soul, smile because it’s their natural expression, and inspire others because they know how. It didn’t mean they would be without challenges, but I gave them unwavering love, complete trust, and confidence as tools. Then, I taught them to have compassion, persistence, goals and why a relationship with God is an essential part of their existence. Every single day, I told them I loved them and I made a constant effort to make sure they could see it. I shared the mistakes I made throughout my life so they would trust coming to me for advice when they made theirs. My children had to learn how to be fearless because as a child, I lived in fear. They needed to know it was okay if they fell as long as they got back holding their head high. They were pulled close to understand me and talk about their day just as I shared mine with them while we cooked and ate dinner together. We prayed together, laughed together, cried together and lifted one another. They both think they are my favorite because neither of them felt I loved the other more.
The truth about parenting is that you will make mistakes, as I’m sure I’ve made my share. However, learning to correct parenting skills by listening to your children and learning from them helped shape me into the mother I am today.
- Love them as God loves you.
- Encourage them to be better than you and give them the tools to accomplish that.
- Keep them close rather than pushing them away when you get busy. Allow them to share in your success and understand your failures.
- When they ask you a question, don’t lie. Tell them the truth so they learn to do the same.
- Take time to ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
- Don’t assume they know you love them because you are their parent. Tell them, and more importantly, show them.
- Be the example that you want them to become. They are learning from you and they see and hear more than you think.
- Don’t tell them about God. Show them His work and help them build a relationship with God.
- Try not to react or discuss situations when you’re upset. Give it time and revisit it when you have a better mindset. Allow them to share their perspective as it may change yours.
- Remember, you were a child once.
I often hear people say, “no one does anything for me”, which is difficult to accept when there are an abundance of blessings in front of us. Part of the problem is whether or not we chose to see them. I was walking into a store and watched a little, sandy hair boy with wide eyes struggle to hold the door open for a woman with a grocery bag and large purse in her arms. She didn’t look down and she didn’t thank him, but I’m quite sure she knew the door didn’t open itself. When I was having lunch, a gentlemen dropped his napkin on the floor and looked down, but left it there. The server came over, politely picked it up, and placed a fresh one next to his plate. The gentleman failed to look up and acknowledge him. He continued talking as if the server was invisible.
I observe these types of things more often than I see polite exchanges of appreciation. It is as though people feel entitled to courteous behavior, but fail to acknowledge it with a simple “thank you” or nod of appreciation if they are on the phone. Some type of acknowledgement is better than none.
- The next time someone communicates with kindness, return the kindness by acknowledging it and passing the courtesy along to someone else.
- Use the words, “thank you” more often.
- Look someone in the eye when they are doing something for you, even if you didn’t ask for their help.
- Because someone is serving you, doesn’t mean they are subservient or beneath your acknowledgement. We all serve someone in one way or another.
I am constantly in awe of the extraordinary gift God has given me. We all receive God’s gifts in different ways. Some are during particular times throughout our life, others are unexpected, and some have the tendency to go unnoticed. For me, the most significant gift was my children. It was as if God knew what I would need to give me purpose, develop my passion and awaken my spirit. The joy that my children brought flushed out the pain of my own childhood and gave me a chance to do better or make their childhood as I thought it should be. I believe in order to accomplish something as brilliant as the light of the sun, that ability must come from God, as it is God who created the sun just as God created us. Taking care, skill and nurturing God’s gift is the way to show our appreciation for it. Here are five ways to accomplish this with your children.
- Instead of denying your children what you may have been denied as a child or at some point in your life, work diligently to give them the exact things you needed most.
- Take time to teach balance as well as boundaries. In addition, make sure they appreciate the blessings bestowed upon them by God, as there are many.
- Encourage them to believe in their dreams and go after any goal they desire with faith and effort, as it is God who will make it possible.
- Understand that it is your actions that can cultivate an environment where love towards one another is radiant, rather than pitting one child against the other to fight for your favor or love in the darkness.
- Show them how to return inspiration to this universe instead of depleting it out of greed and selfishness.
I realized that God hands us mighty gifts. The gift of children is but one as I have seen and heard the gift of music lift the soul, culinary skills inspire the palette, the depths of art reach hidden passions, and dance releases positive energy. Intellect raises the bar, kindness offers a cure for sadness, and athleticism breeds a competitive spirit and so on and so forth as the gifts given to each of us are what God believed we needed.
If you’ve not found your gift, drop to your knees and ask God to reveal it with clarity and then go inward to find it. Once you do, treasure it as it is just for you!
Inspiration by my family and I:
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In the past several years I’ve heard many personal accounts of people falling prey to bad mortgage loans or having made poor financial decisions, while others have lost their homes, which completely devastated their financial situation. One of the common denominators was lack of knowledge and understanding the consequences of not adhering to the warnings. It hurt my heart because I wasn’t certain there was much I could offer other than compassion, until now. We can’t change the past; however, we can better prepare for our future decisions.
We forget to protect ourselves by learning things that typically fall outside of our interest. Unfortunately, many people make financial mistakes simply because they don’t know any better. Lack of knowledge causes you to rely on or trust someone that may not be completely trustworthy or transparent with you. By the time the transaction is complete, they are gone and you are left with the consequences that may affect you adversely in more ways than you know.
Mortgage Secrets, Strategies, & Warnings is a guide to help you, or anyone you know making financial decisions that are specific to the mortgage marketplace. It will give you the secrets and strategies that your loan originator may not and reveal warnings that will make you question if you are being handled with integrity and whether or not the loan being offered is best for you. It will teach you how to improve and protect your credit score, the fundamentals to borrowing money and much more.
Knowledge is power so share Mortgage Secrets, Strategies, & Warnings with your children, those you mentor and anyone that is about to make one of the biggest financial decisions of his or her life!