The Effects Cheating Has On Children

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We’re all human and our life will be riddled with mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. The problem is when you’re making choices that can have negative consequences for your children. Infidelity is one of those choices. Most people cheat because they feel neglected in the relationship. Others simply want revenge. Some cheat because the ability to do so is available, providing a thrill. It’s your life and a decision you have to live with, but when you have children involved, think before you indulge in a deceptive game that can devastate them along with the person you’re no longer considerate of. When you intentionally hurt someone your behavior is self-destructive as well, because your morals and values are compromised. You’ve crossed boundaries that should never be crossed that way.

Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act of not considering anyone or anything except your own greed, need, and sexual desires. It’s an immoral way to accomplish something. Consider it stealing or taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Perhaps you’ve been hurt and you want to pay the other person back, or the relationship is no longer what you want. The lack of compassion or respect for the other person is bad enough, but the affects that will carry over to your children, whether you see them or not, is another, which can cause the most damage.

It’s easier and selfish to think that your children will forget about the disruption and sometimes devastation to their life or that it won’t affect them if they don’t know. The fact of the matter is, they will remember and if they didn’t know at the onset, sooner or later they will find out. It may come out in forms you may never care to associate with your actions. You may never realize the destruction to their life or if you do it may be when it’s too late. Parents repeat the same loving words, they would do anything for their children, and then they cheat without considering any of the ramifications. When you destroy a relationship, take more than a fleeting moment to consider everyone in that relationship. If you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship with your dignity intact and move on respectfully. Consider the emotional aftermath your children will suffer although they may not say a single word to you about it. Look at the statistics of young adults in therapy because a parent cheated. Now, consider those that aren’t in therapy and have to emotionally find their own way around your actions. That selfish act can damage your children for life. Is it worth taking that risk? The damage may follow them into their adulthood in many identifiable forms you may not care to take responsibility for. Your children begin to learn their value by what you show them. Teach them that they matter to you by doing things the right way. Cheating is an easy way to succumb to self-pity and self-indulgence, but if you have any ounce of love for your children, consider the affect it will have on them first. That emotional damage can lead to other emotional problems and issues that can have permanent or long-term effects. Teach them how to love instead of how to betray someone. Let them see you hold your head up with courage and respect and talk about the problems before it gets out of hand. It doesn’t mean you can’t end the relationship, it means you can’t be selfish enough to worry about your own needs instead of those of your children.I love you is easy to say but I love myself more is what you’re telling your children when you cheat.

Don’t let your children become an uncalculated casualty of your desire to put yourself first. There is more to the action of infidelity than the act itself. If the other person is aware that he or she is breaking up a relationship and doesn’t care, they can’t possibly love you the way you deserve because they are forgetting about your children. There are other ways to get what you want that won’t take causalities or strip you of your self-esteem and morals. Consider others when they are part of the package. Cheaters typically repeat and you may end up in a relationship with Karma.

Love’s Disappointments By Shonte’a Walls

I’ve been through a lot this year and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of accomplishing as well as overcoming. Everyday I live with the struggle to learn how to forgive and have patients to deal with the ignorance that he and I carry because of the hurt and pain we’ve caused each other. We tried to be lovers, friends and cordial to one another … but failed. Still, we share the responsibility of being parents to two beautiful little boys to whom we’ve somehow manage to succeed and fail in some areas, in front of them. I want you to understand that I know your pain and see it too. And for that I am sorry and ask to be forgiven.

Now it’s time for us to grow up and be responsible for our actions, understand the fault that we each carry and learn from it. We must learn not to make the same mistakes, overcome our problems and become better people. We have to get past our history and learn how live in and co-existence as parents. We have far greater things to accomplish and achieve in this life (that is not promise to you or me)! I am tired and weak from our misunderstandings. Understanding and forgiveness are key to mending our intolerable ways. As adults we must sit and learn to divide what was once united. Love is filled with many disappointments, but the many disappoints we’ve experienced is our own lesson learned. Life’s relationships are not easy nor perfect at all times. It’s up to us to be mature about our faults and blames; not for the sake of you or I, but for the sake of the two people who hold us to the higher standers of responsibility. So let us grow up together and remember it’s not about who is right or wrong. Remember disappointments are just blessings in disguise; and this is our foundation to our blessing.

~sHonte’a m. wall~

P.S –
Remember that in life we have situations and not problems. Situations have solutions, problems don’t! May you continue to find solutions to all your situations and not excuses to your problems  ~smwall~

Smile Once Again By TeResa A. Smith

When we are brought into this world, we will either contribute to it or take from it. I choose to contribute. Even though life has not always been kind to me, something deep inside let me understand that it is much more rewarding to be a blessing rather than a curse. It does not matter from where I came, it only matters where I will take any piece of knowledge that I gain along the way. While some may sit and cry, questioning Gods ultimate plan, over the years I have just thrown my hands up and looked to Him to carry me through whatever crisis that I was going through at the time. If we are never given challenges, we will not be appreciative of the moments that go smoothly, and furthermore, will not learn how to be strong, resilient or grateful. Looking back, I know this to be true. For every tear I’ve cried a smile soon followed and I embraced it and remembered it the next time my eyes began to water.

Waking up in the morning seems like such a simple and trivial thing for most of us, yet some did not experience the privilege. Sometimes it is the simplest things that motivate us or make us smile. We could spend all day complaining about what didn’t go right, but I’d rather look around and be thankful for what did. As I examine where I’ve been and then sit and marvel at where I am, I can do nothing but thank my Lord and Savior. Of all those that He has created He saw fit to allow my life to continue and prosper. He has given me a loving husband, beautiful children and even more grandchildren. What a miracle! To see my children’s children is not something that everyone has been able to do. From me came them and that alone is reason enough for me to praise Him and smile once again.

Hope Is What You’re Looking For By Krystal Covin Boyce

My name is KC, I am 27 yrs of age and a mother of three. To others I may look like the typical individual, happy on the outside etc. but in reality I can honestly say that I wasn’t until a couple of months ago. For years I’ve had to battle with ill thoughts, not towards others but towards myself. I didn’t know how to love and appreciate myself , I lacked self confidence/ esteem until two wonderful people came into my life, “Mrs. Scott” & her son “Aaron”.

I read her Memoir “In Our House” and decided to contact her. I was having one of my moments where I felt completely lost and she immediately responded to my message, there I was consulting in someone I didn’t know and with each message I cried and as I write this I am fighting back those tears. It came to the conclusion that God was talking to me through her .

Through Mrs. Scott and Aaron I came to realize that I do have a purpose on earth and God is always there when you need someone to talk to. Because of them I have learned to never give up and reach for my goals, to love and appreciate myself more one step at a time, one day at a time. Just pray and everything will be okay. My ill thoughts are now becoming happy thoughts and I am reaching for my goals and overcoming my fears. So to everyone out there. . . always put your trust in God and he will see you through. He hasn’t failed me once! If it wasn’t for him, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here. Please remember ” Those who walk with God, always reach their destination. Never give up on your goals, be kind to others because the simplest act of kindness might just help save someone’s life . My inspiration came from her. She made it through her childhood then I can most definitely make through my battles and so can you!