Love can be complicated and truly loving someone means you want what is best for those you love. Sure, the good times are great, but there will come those occasions that require your ability to deliver honest communication even when it is not often appreciated. Although it may hurt, you may be the only person that keeps them balanced or acknowledging reality when they need it most. Allowing someone to continue on a path that is detrimental to his or her well-being is not love.
Sometimes that destructive behavior is concealed, however, being tuned into someone will allow you to detect unhealthy or inconsistent changes in behavior or habits. If someone is hurting, they may be searching for something or someone to help distract them from their pain or to help find a resolve. Let them find you there until they trust you enough to submit to being helped properly. Continue to love them so they get it and realize your beautiful role in their life.
3 Indicators it’s Time to Talk
- Passion turns to frustration
- Plagued with a lingering sadness
- A preference to be alone if it is not typical behavior
If you note that they need professional help or if you are unsure, recommend that they seek it or help them find it. Love cares through the best and worst of times.
Love can see what most cannot. –Marala Scott
I have a passion for life! I love who I am and above all, I love God. It is God that taught me to love myself. Then, the need for others to love me didn’t exist, but I learned why it is essential for me to love others. I was apprehensive about becoming a parent. It wasn’t something that was natural for me since my childhood had a narrative that was nothing less than horrific and scarring. Once I was, the test began and the one thing I wanted to get right in life more than anything else, was parenting. As a mother, the choice became mine to submit to what I was familiar with or do something to change the lucid visions that could hurl a fragile and scared little girl into her own dark world. I was determined not to replicate the abuse and pain. I made the decision to leave it behind, taking only the good experiences and memories, although it wasn’t easy.
I remembered my painful tears as a child and promised myself that I would provide my children with the things I prayed for. I wanted them to laugh from their soul, smile because it’s their natural expression, and inspire others because they know how. It didn’t mean they would be without challenges, but I gave them unwavering love, complete trust, and confidence as tools. Then, I taught them to have compassion, persistence, goals and why a relationship with God is an essential part of their existence. Every single day, I told them I loved them and I made a constant effort to make sure they could see it. I shared the mistakes I made throughout my life so they would trust coming to me for advice when they made theirs. My children had to learn how to be fearless because as a child, I lived in fear. They needed to know it was okay if they fell as long as they got back holding their head high. They were pulled close to understand me and talk about their day just as I shared mine with them while we cooked and ate dinner together. We prayed together, laughed together, cried together and lifted one another. They both think they are my favorite because neither of them felt I loved the other more.
The truth about parenting is that you will make mistakes, as I’m sure I’ve made my share. However, learning to correct parenting skills by listening to your children and learning from them helped shape me into the mother I am today.
- Love them as God loves you.
- Encourage them to be better than you and give them the tools to accomplish that.
- Keep them close rather than pushing them away when you get busy. Allow them to share in your success and understand your failures.
- When they ask you a question, don’t lie. Tell them the truth so they learn to do the same.
- Take time to ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
- Don’t assume they know you love them because you are their parent. Tell them, and more importantly, show them.
- Be the example that you want them to become. They are learning from you and they see and hear more than you think.
- Don’t tell them about God. Show them His work and help them build a relationship with God.
- Try not to react or discuss situations when you’re upset. Give it time and revisit it when you have a better mindset. Allow them to share their perspective as it may change yours.
- Remember, you were a child once.
I often hear people say, “no one does anything for me”, which is difficult to accept when there are an abundance of blessings in front of us. Part of the problem is whether or not we chose to see them. I was walking into a store and watched a little, sandy hair boy with wide eyes struggle to hold the door open for a woman with a grocery bag and large purse in her arms. She didn’t look down and she didn’t thank him, but I’m quite sure she knew the door didn’t open itself. When I was having lunch, a gentlemen dropped his napkin on the floor and looked down, but left it there. The server came over, politely picked it up, and placed a fresh one next to his plate. The gentleman failed to look up and acknowledge him. He continued talking as if the server was invisible.
I observe these types of things more often than I see polite exchanges of appreciation. It is as though people feel entitled to courteous behavior, but fail to acknowledge it with a simple “thank you” or nod of appreciation if they are on the phone. Some type of acknowledgement is better than none.
- The next time someone communicates with kindness, return the kindness by acknowledging it and passing the courtesy along to someone else.
- Use the words, “thank you” more often.
- Look someone in the eye when they are doing something for you, even if you didn’t ask for their help.
- Because someone is serving you, doesn’t mean they are subservient or beneath your acknowledgement. We all serve someone in one way or another.