Without Judgment

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Most of the time we think we know people but is our judgment an accurate and fair assessment? Just because it’s a family member, friend, co-worker, or someone you routinely come in contact with it doesn’t mean you know what their reality is. People have problems or situations that they don’t share. If they do, it may not be the complete version. Some people keep their personal life private; they don’t believe anyone will care or can help them. Sometimes, they don’t want to be judged. Instinctively, most people are quick to judge, but that judgment can keep you from showing compassion, especially when it may be needed most.

We have the tendency to forget how blessed we are and that others may be going through a period of need. When we walk by a person digging through the garbage, trying to find something to eat, would you buy them something or ignore their plight? Can you imagine the difference that each of us could make if we did an act of kindness in a kind, non-judgmental way? We don’t know what we think we know about others. And we can be quick to determine the reason someone is homeless, struggling financially, quiet, withdrawn, or struggles with their academics. We don’t know if they have health issues, are dealing with a loss of a loved one, or depressed. We don’t know.

Since most of us have the inability to get into someone’s entire history and understand why, what, or when something may have happened that caused their situation, we should be without judgment. If we are going to offer our help, we should do it without condemnation. We never know the reason, season, or lessons that will come in our life and kindness offers much more than that individual may have at that moment in time. It could change or save a life. Find a way to make a difference without judgment. We owe it to ourselves to be a contributor to a kinder, more compassionate society.

Love Includes Honest Communication

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Love can be complicated and truly loving someone means you want what is best for those you love. Sure, the good times are great, but there will come those occasions that require your ability to deliver honest communication even when it is not often appreciated. Although it may hurt, you may be the only person that keeps them balanced or acknowledging reality when they need it most. Allowing someone to continue on a path that is detrimental to his or her well-being is not love.

Sometimes that destructive behavior is concealed, however, being tuned into someone will allow you to detect unhealthy or inconsistent changes in behavior or habits. If someone is hurting, they may be searching for something or someone to help distract them from their pain or to help find a resolve. Let them find you there until they trust you enough to submit to being helped properly. Continue to love them so they get it and realize your beautiful role in their life.

      3 Indicators it’s Time to Talk

  • Passion turns to frustration
  • Plagued with a lingering sadness
  • A preference to be alone if it is not typical behavior

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If you note that they need professional help or if you are unsure, recommend that they seek it or help them find it. Love cares through the best and worst of times.

Love can see what most cannot. –Marala Scott

A Simple Courtesy

I often hear people say, “no one does anything for me”, which is difficult to accept when there are an abundance of blessings in front of us. Part of the problem is whether or not we chose to see them. I was walking into a store and watched a little, sandy hair boy with wide eyes struggle to hold the door open for a woman with a grocery bag and large purse in her arms. She didn’t look down and she didn’t thank him, but I’m quite sure she knew the door didn’t open itself. When I was having lunch, a gentlemen dropped his napkin on the floor and looked down, but left it there. The server came over, politely picked it up, and placed a fresh one next to his plate. The gentleman failed to look up and acknowledge him. He continued talking as if the server was invisible.

I observe these types of things more often than I see polite exchanges of appreciation. It is as though people feel entitled to courteous behavior, but fail to acknowledge it with a simple “thank you” or nod of appreciation if they are on the phone. Some type of acknowledgement is better than none.

  • The next time someone communicates with kindness, return the kindness by acknowledging it and passing the courtesy along to someone else.
  • Use the words, “thank you” more often.
  • Look someone in the eye when they are doing something for you, even if you didn’t ask for their help.
  • Because someone is serving you, doesn’t mean they are subservient or beneath your acknowledgement. We all serve someone in one way or another.