Hanging on to What You Can’t Control Will Only Hurt You

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When it comes to those days where nothing seems to be going the way you need it, don’t worry, things will improve once you change your way of thinking. It helps when you step back and allow whatever is unavoidable to happen, especially since it was going to take place regardless. If you did whatever you could to avoid it, but it didn’t make a difference, let it go. Hanging on to what you can’t control will only hurt you. It doesn’t mean accept failure or submit to the problem at hand, it simply means release the burden at that moment so you can gather your thoughts, compose yourself, and take time to rethink the situation or create another strategy.

How do you release it?

  1. Take time to learn how to solve the problem instead of becoming a part of it.
  2. Discuss the situation with someone you trust who gives unbiased and solid advice that will help diffuse your negative mindset.
  3. Don’t discuss a negative situation with negative people.
  4. Step back and take in a breath of fresh air. Go to a movie, listen to music, meditate or do something calming that will help recalibrate your way of thinking.
  5. Look at all sides rather than just yours and give an honest evaluation.
  6. Understand that it’s not the end, especially if you are looking for a positive resolution.

Overreacting can make things worse and talking about it while you are upset is a sure way to overshare thoughts that you may regret later. There’s a lot more you have to do so learn to accept that you cannot control, fix or stop every situation. Sometimes, in that moment it’s hard to believe that it will be okay, but it will.

 

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Life

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Once you’re here, it’s real. Life isn’t simulated and you don’t get a practice run so you may as well resign to the fact of making this gift work, as our time isn’t guaranteed. Now I am at an age that I’ve learned to give an honest reflection of my life. I think about what I’ve been through and how many situations and their outcome have shaped me into the person I am today. I have to admit that sadness seeps in when I review the time that I squandered being angry and unwilling to forgive others for things that may have been out of their control at the time; they may have been a product of their environment. I remember time spent trying to control things I had no control over and the frustration it brought. I had moments that I wanted to give up before understanding the challenges I had were meant to make me stronger, and they did.

Each time I sought solace, I went to God and each time, God answered. There were times I listened and then there were times I didn’t because I wanted the fast, convenient path to my goals; but it never worked. As I learned to become diligent in submitting to God and the destiny that He had for me, things became clearer and I was able to see and comprehend His plan.

God wanted me to be kinder, more forgiving, and see far beyond my own plight. God wanted me to care about something other than what was within my grasp and share something that didn’t cost a thing. The same inspiration God granted me was meant for me to share with you. It lifted me up so I could see there was more beauty to life than what I was focusing on.

In your darkest hours, painful moments or times of struggle go beyond your boundaries and share compassion for others. Give freely and care abundantly as the healing will be for you. I am still growing and learning but I am trusting God to lead me through my journey. What people see in me that inspires them and lifts them at times of need is simply God working through me because I am receptive to it. Take the attention off of your problems and focus on developing yourself. It works because it will make you stronger and more resilient so you will accomplish your goals.

Allow Rejection to Strengthen You

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You’re not here to wait and see what happens and it’s not meant for you to leave your future to fate. There are many opportunities that come and go because you waited to see if it would happen instead of making it come to fruition through your own actions. Too often, people are afraid to go after what they want for many reasons and rejection is just one of them. However, you won’t know how to change your game plan if you aren’t rejected. Rejection will strengthen you and help you become wiser if you allow it. Don’t become a product of what already is, be the product. Own your life; don’t let it own you.

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Your Life In Review Before It’s Too Late

When it’s all said and done and your life is over here on this earth, how will people remember you? Will they speak of you as a giver or taker? Were you a lover or did you seek out fights because you were angry? Were you someone who was fair or biased about everything that benefited you? Did you care about others or could you care less? What I want you to ask yourself is, are you on track to leave this world with a memory that you would be proud of? If you have children, will they be proud of you and have loving thoughts that no one can remove? Is your powerful imprint resting on the hearts of many or are many waiting to erase what you have left because it’s too painful? Before the time comes for you to depart from this gift of life, repair, change, and forgive, if even yourself. Take this moment right now to determine that you will live and give to the best of your capability. Make the choice to leave an impression that reflects the person you want to be and are. It’s not too late to begin again.

Give Your Dull Relationship A Makeover

Once a relationship has been going on for a while doesn’t mean the loving touch that was there before has to end however, it will if the both of you allow it. There are many ways to keep your relationship fresh and full of love if you really want it to work. Try these tips and watch that intimate loving touch return:

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Ø  Stop looking for things to complain about instead, find things to laugh over.

Ø  Don’t pick your battles; don’t pick anything except healthy negotiations to resolve personal issues.

Ø  When dining out, sit next to one another so it’s easier to hold hands and share intimate conversation.

Ø  Put a heartfelt card under his or her pillow, in their drawer or on the car seat. Regardless where you place it they will know that you are thinking of them at the most random times.

Ø  Be random with a surprise, meaning just because on any day, at any time.

Ø  Leave a thoughtful message on a stressful day to help improve their mood. If you know their day is stressful don’t add to it.

Ø  Share words of inspiration as a reminder of the blessings you have.

Ø  Agree to disagree and understand that there are always at least two perspectives and yours belongs to you so be willing to compromise.

Ø  Don’t forget the loving things that brought you together.

Ø  Leave the negative past in the past if you’re still together.

Ø Take time away from everyone else to focus on one another.

Relationships are a work in progress that will have a healthy progression if you choose to pair love with understanding.

You Think You Have The Power To Change The Past

When you drive down a road you won’t return to, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history such as with life. –Marala Scott

 

It’s interesting how we’re able to hold onto negative experiences and give concentration to what happened instead of creating a solution to resolve those emotions. If you’re reading this, your life didn’t stop because of them. Regardless of what you think, you are meant to go on and persevere. Perhaps you can help someone else along the way. Allow experiences to make you stronger instead of weaker because God willing, you’ll have a long trip ahead of you and will need the strength you’re wasting on negative history. Shift your heart and mindset to make use of the life you have in front of you. Don’t dwell on the one behind you that can’t be altered in any capacity. When you drive down a road, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history. Yes, the road may still be there, but it’s no longer in your future to travel.

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How Long Will The Past Be Our Present? By Aaron Curry

Should the past have any sort of bearing on a “new” relationship? Is the past an accurate reflection of someone’s true character? And if so, do we have the right to judge someone off of their past? Once a cheater always a cheater, etc. That’s for you to determine, but here is my honest opinion.

I believe the past, although not a definitive reflection, does indeed tell a lot about someones character. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I based some of my relationship decisions upon a womans past. Is that fair?! Not necessarily, but I feel as though it has the same meaning as the saying, “You are who you associate with.” That obviously doesn’t make it right, but am I going to choose the college graduate or the high school diploma?

If someones cheated before, what’s to say they won’t cheat again? If someones lied before, no matter the magnitude of this lie, what’s to say they won’t lie to you? If someones slept with a person “very easily,” for lack of better vernacular, what’s to say if you get in an argument they won’t do that to you? So they have all of these negative occurrences, strikes or whatever you want to call it against them and then they get to you and they’re supposed to be reformed, dipped in holy water, and ready to be perfect. I don’t forget about what they’ve done that easily, I file it for later reference.

When I’m picking the teams for my NCAA bracket, I typically gage the winner of the game based upon their record; losses vs. wins. Occasionally I’ll pick an “upset,” but they have to have one heck of a reason for me to roll with them when they haven’t proven themselves entirely. That’s kind of how this works. I’m going to give you a chance, maybe, but you’re on a short leash because of your past. I might not trust you like I should or the way you want me to, so you’ll have to earn and build that.

The problem comes into play when the man or woman expects you to completely forget their past as if it never existed. They want it to be as if they didn’t do, “this and that” when all of us have some type of past, good, bad or indifferent. The catch phrase is, “That was before you so it doesn’t matter.” Yes, it does. If I robbed a bank before I met you, wouldn’t you want to know. It matters very much so. I’m all for allowing someone to have a clean slate yet the past has much relevance when it comes down to it. It doesn’t mean I won’t give you a chance but it does mean that I’ll be taking everything in and analyzing your moves, decisions and actions. I think if we consider history but not focus on it we can save ourselves a lot of wasted relationships. It allows us to make better choices in partners. It allows us to find people who are like us, not masquerading to be. If you don’t want your past to ruin or invade your future, be careful what you do, whom with, and consider the repercussions down the line. Just something to think about.

AC