maralascottsblog Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships

You Think You’re Ready to be in a Relationship

Have you ever unwrapped a beautiful gift to find the contents disappointing or not anything near what you thought it might be? More often than not, that is what happens in relationships. The exterior package of the person isn’t what will make the relationship work however, the interior mindset and spirit of the individual is.

We’re worried that if we don’t jump into a relationship when it’s offered that we’ll miss out. Many times when you dive into a relationship and learn more about the person, you’d wish you had passed on it. Take time to know the person instead of believing what they tell you. Listen a little more carefully to what they’re spewing out. One thing we say after a relationship goes south is that he or she told me that… Relying on what someone tells you as oppose to what they show you in their actions is key in having or investing in a healthy relationship. Give it time to see if their words match their actions before jumping into a relationship just to have one.

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

This Is The Season For …

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Letting go of negative emotions and reshaping your life instead of allowing the pain from the past or current burdens to overshadow opportunities to lift your spirit. The holiday season tends to be one of the most difficult times. It is a time when we gather together in celebration of the birth of Christ, but many are reminded of the loves ones they’ve lost, being alone, or financial difficulties.

Take a moment to look forward instead of back and develop a plan that will help you progress out of the negative state you are in. Understand that this life is a gift. Yes, we will have things that happen but they are not meant to destroy us. We will have times we may find ourselves alone but that time is meant for reflection to plan and progress without making the same mistakes. Financial difficulties may challenge and shake our core and threaten our family but not our very existence. Thinking outside of our comfort zone can help us to rebound and end up better than we were because we were made stronger because of the very experiences that appeared to weaken us. Look behind you as a reminder of the things you’ve made it through. Let this be the season to display strength and courage as Christ did for us. Be fearless in knowing He is with us and ahead of us in our endeavors. God knows the outcome that we do not. Follow Him in faith.

maralascottsblog Forgiveness, God, Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships

Overcoming Opposition

There’s always that point when your life begins to show promise and progress. Happiness begins to fall upon you, love opens a door allowing light to enter, and success in your career or relationships with friends strengthen. Without warning, something comes along to jeopardize what you’ve diligently worked to build.  At times when you already have enough to deal with, it seems situations that cause stress have the tendency to surround you even more. As relentless negativity keeps piling on your weary and fraught shoulders it has the ability to make you feel broken, if not break you. It happens and it will continue to happen if you decide to keep playing that game.

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When you’re making a diligent and consistent effort to change your life with positive strokes of progression know the opposition will be waiting for you the same way it’s there in any game. Opposition is meant to keep you from winning, so it does its best. Keep in mind, when the opposition fights you harder and gets stronger it’s because you’ve become a real opponent. If you don’t want to miss what God is trying to show and do for you, then stop listening to and giving your opponent your attention. Stay grounded with faith. Don’t waste time playing a game that you may lose, when you can win if you stay on the path you were destined to travel.

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Learning To Use Faith

There are many different ways to use the word faith but the meaning is still the same and ends in one having belief, complete trust, and sincerity in his or her intentions. Faith is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof but you remain unyielding. When it comes to doing something you believe in at times you may turn to the person closest to you for support and if they don’t believe that you can accomplish what you are attempting to do, you may not find their faith in you present. Although this can be disappointing you can alleviate that by having faith in yourself as well as in God. If you leave it to someone else to encourage you and they pull that away you do not want to find yourself standing alone void of what’s necessary to continue on what may be a lonely road. Step out on it. Yes, faith. The results will be astounding. Don’t turn back or give up, as at times you may have to walk more than half way to see your goals in sight. How can you expect others to have faith in you if you don’t have faith in yourself? When you have faith you are affirming that God is with you on your journey.

maralascottsblog children, Forgiveness, God, Happiness, Helping Others, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Your Life In Review Before It’s Too Late

When it’s all said and done and your life is over here on this earth, how will people remember you? Will they speak of you as a giver or taker? Were you a lover or did you seek out fights because you were angry? Were you someone who was fair or biased about everything that benefited you? Did you care about others or could you care less? What I want you to ask yourself is, are you on track to leave this world with a memory that you would be proud of? If you have children, will they be proud of you and have loving thoughts that no one can remove? Is your powerful imprint resting on the hearts of many or are many waiting to erase what you have left because it’s too painful? Before the time comes for you to depart from this gift of life, repair, change, and forgive, if even yourself. Take this moment right now to determine that you will live and give to the best of your capability. Make the choice to leave an impression that reflects the person you want to be and are. It’s not too late to begin again.

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Family Is …

Many times people keep ties or close relationships with family members that are emotionally unhealthy because they feel they don’t have anyone else or they are supposed to simply because it’s family. Although it’s often said that, “blood is thicker than water,” to the contrary, water is more pure and so are many relationships that are not of your blood.

It’s one thing to love your family in a healthy manner but to have love out of obligation that is only masked behind hate, anger, and resentment is detrimental. Whether it’s you carrying resentment or other family members throwing a series of jabs, if you can’t work it out you’re really doing yourself and them a disservice.

Fighting to keep your relationship intact just to continuously fight brings damaging emotional results, as well as, much wasted time. Make conscious efforts to work towards resolutions and compromise to alleviate stress. If there is something standing in the way of a better relationship with your family that you or they don’t feel can be resolved, then step out of the fight. You may never agree, which means the battle will be ongoing.

Putting your energy into healthy relationships can often bring you more peace, love, and support. God puts good people in your life so appreciate them as you would family because family isn’t always of the same blood. People that love you, show respect, help you thrive, encourage faith, and believe in you are those you hold onto and do the same for.  Don’t stay in a relationship to cause hurt or take it. Sometimes space brings time to reflect and ultimately appreciation.

maralascottsblog Forgiveness, Happiness, relationships

Give Your Dull Relationship A Makeover

Once a relationship has been going on for a while doesn’t mean the loving touch that was there before has to end however, it will if the both of you allow it. There are many ways to keep your relationship fresh and full of love if you really want it to work. Try these tips and watch that intimate loving touch return:

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Ø  Stop looking for things to complain about instead, find things to laugh over.

Ø  Don’t pick your battles; don’t pick anything except healthy negotiations to resolve personal issues.

Ø  When dining out, sit next to one another so it’s easier to hold hands and share intimate conversation.

Ø  Put a heartfelt card under his or her pillow, in their drawer or on the car seat. Regardless where you place it they will know that you are thinking of them at the most random times.

Ø  Be random with a surprise, meaning just because on any day, at any time.

Ø  Leave a thoughtful message on a stressful day to help improve their mood. If you know their day is stressful don’t add to it.

Ø  Share words of inspiration as a reminder of the blessings you have.

Ø  Agree to disagree and understand that there are always at least two perspectives and yours belongs to you so be willing to compromise.

Ø  Don’t forget the loving things that brought you together.

Ø  Leave the negative past in the past if you’re still together.

Ø Take time away from everyone else to focus on one another.

Relationships are a work in progress that will have a healthy progression if you choose to pair love with understanding.

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

The Ties That Bind Can Tear Us Apart

The ties that bind are sometimes the very ties that tear us apart, yet we stay within the proximity to allow the pain to continue on the path causing destruction. Because someone is family doesn’t mean that you should allow them to continuously plant deep seeds of negativity that will grow deeper roots of anger and discouragement inside of you. Although family is supposed to be our lifeline of encouragement, trust, protection, and love it doesn’t always turn out that way. It doesn’t mean you are bound to accept their ways as the way it is supposed to be either. You are not meant to remain a victim and let it wear you down until you can’t function to the capacity you are destined. There is much more to life than waking up each day to fight against those you love. Sometimes, a breath of fresh air and a move towards independence is liberating. Although it may seem difficult to do, it is self-destructive to continue taking. Progressing away from family, if done with positive intentions to better yourself and life as a whole, can be healing for all. It will allow you time to grow, reflect, and understand. You may never know where someone’s pain comes from but you will come to realize that his or her pain is not meant to be yours. This life is a journey and the journey is your individual imprint. Use your powerful prayers to bring God’s favor in order to help them heal.

Hard Work + Faith = Success

maralascottsblog Happiness, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Self-improvement Comes Through Self-Awareness

Self-improvement comes through self-awareness. Self-destruction comes when you’re unwilling to face reality. –Marala Scott

  The hardest thing about a friendship is that we want to be able to trust our friend with everything we share. Along with trust, we automatically have the tendency to expect friends to agree with our viewpoint whether it’s right or wrong. With a passive, and tearful voice, or angry insistence we seek support for our negative actions when deep inside, the real truth lies unrevealed. We know leaving out the whole truth will undoubtedly make their opinion biased and the problem with that is what we want isn’t friendship. Bullying, forcing, or tricking someone into agreeing with everything we feel or think like a continual support system, isn’t healthy.  In actuality, what is it you want them to support, the truth or you? Having people around to fill your need of being right is like having people on payroll with no input in how the company runs. Take a note from some of the most successful companies and welcome constructive input. If you want to hear what you need to, instead of what you want, select strong, positive, independent thinkers, as friends. We all need to hear things no one else is willing or cares to tell us. Self-improvement comes through self-awareness. Self-destruction comes when you’re unwilling to face reality. The truth may hurt but accepting a positive solution strengthens.

maralascottsblog Happiness, Helping Others, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Telling People What They Want Instead of What They Need To Hear

Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality does not make a healthy environment. –Marala Scott

I spend a lot of time talking to people and responding to questions in general about life. One characteristic that most people have in common is their ability to ignore reality or the truth when it’s convenient. Many people are afraid to upset or disappoint other people by telling them the truth. I’ve found that the majority already have the answer to their question or know a viable solution. What they’re soliciting is an opinion in hope that they hear something they can manage to do within their comfort level. That’s not reality; it’s denial, which won’t resolve issues. No one can help you if you refuse to look at a situation from an unbiased perspective for what it really is. Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality doesn’t make a healthy environment or emotional state. Make decisions based on reality not the way you’d like it to be.

maralascottsblog Helping Others, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Don’t Talk Behind Someone’s Back, Tell Them How You Feel

Don’t smile in someone’s face and talk behind their back. Share an honest smile and be real. That’s how you show respect. ~Marala Scott

There’s always something that needs to be said and there are plenty of ways to communicate what you feel to get your point across. There’s no need to be rude just be direct and honest. The problem comes in when you’re friends with someone who you really don’t like but you’re willing to compromise your standards to be around someone. All you’re going to do is talk behind their back after spending the day hanging out, having lunch, or shopping together. It’s disrespectful to talk behind a persons back instead of just telling them what the problem is or how you really feel and why. The problem with the whole talking behind someone’s back is that you end up having the very same qualities you don’t like in that person. There are several words to describe that type of individual, but do you want that description too? Put your communication on a different level by learning to speak what you feel. Do it properly and without malicious intent, but do it. It speaks volumes about your character and it can actually help the other person if they simply have never been told that you or anyone else has an issue with something they do or have done. Dare to be real!

maralascottsblog children, Forgiveness, God, Happiness, Helping Others, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Is the Perception of Your Life the True Reality?

Now Available. . . the special version of Marala Scott’s book,

In Our House: Perception vs. Reality

“In Our House” is the chilling true story of an abusive husband, his wife, and their six children trapped inside of a hellish nightmare.

Recruited by both the CIA and IBM the successful, handsome, and deceptive Colin has rendered countless abusive episodes on his beautiful wife, Alley, and his six children until he finally breaks Alley and she is no longer able to fight back. One day, three women involve Alley in a church that promises to protect her and the children from her husband’s attacks. By the time Alley realizes how they will do it, she finds herself demonically possessed with demons eating away at her. The horrifying undertaking is beyond life and now the children must find a way to survive both parents.

Purchase through AMAZON

maralascottsblog children, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

The Effects Cheating Has On Children

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We’re all human and our life will be riddled with mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. The problem is when you’re making choices that can have negative consequences for your children. Infidelity is one of those choices. Most people cheat because they feel neglected in the relationship. Others simply want revenge. Some cheat because the ability to do so is available, providing a thrill. It’s your life and a decision you have to live with, but when you have children involved, think before you indulge in a deceptive game that can devastate them along with the person you’re no longer considerate of. When you intentionally hurt someone your behavior is self-destructive as well, because your morals and values are compromised. You’ve crossed boundaries that should never be crossed that way.

Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act of not considering anyone or anything except your own greed, need, and sexual desires. It’s an immoral way to accomplish something. Consider it stealing or taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Perhaps you’ve been hurt and you want to pay the other person back, or the relationship is no longer what you want. The lack of compassion or respect for the other person is bad enough, but the affects that will carry over to your children, whether you see them or not, is another, which can cause the most damage.

It’s easier and selfish to think that your children will forget about the disruption and sometimes devastation to their life or that it won’t affect them if they don’t know. The fact of the matter is, they will remember and if they didn’t know at the onset, sooner or later they will find out. It may come out in forms you may never care to associate with your actions. You may never realize the destruction to their life or if you do it may be when it’s too late. Parents repeat the same loving words, they would do anything for their children, and then they cheat without considering any of the ramifications. When you destroy a relationship, take more than a fleeting moment to consider everyone in that relationship. If you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship with your dignity intact and move on respectfully. Consider the emotional aftermath your children will suffer although they may not say a single word to you about it. Look at the statistics of young adults in therapy because a parent cheated. Now, consider those that aren’t in therapy and have to emotionally find their own way around your actions. That selfish act can damage your children for life. Is it worth taking that risk? The damage may follow them into their adulthood in many identifiable forms you may not care to take responsibility for. Your children begin to learn their value by what you show them. Teach them that they matter to you by doing things the right way. Cheating is an easy way to succumb to self-pity and self-indulgence, but if you have any ounce of love for your children, consider the affect it will have on them first. That emotional damage can lead to other emotional problems and issues that can have permanent or long-term effects. Teach them how to love instead of how to betray someone. Let them see you hold your head up with courage and respect and talk about the problems before it gets out of hand. It doesn’t mean you can’t end the relationship, it means you can’t be selfish enough to worry about your own needs instead of those of your children.I love you is easy to say but I love myself more is what you’re telling your children when you cheat.

Don’t let your children become an uncalculated casualty of your desire to put yourself first. There is more to the action of infidelity than the act itself. If the other person is aware that he or she is breaking up a relationship and doesn’t care, they can’t possibly love you the way you deserve because they are forgetting about your children. There are other ways to get what you want that won’t take causalities or strip you of your self-esteem and morals. Consider others when they are part of the package. Cheaters typically repeat and you may end up in a relationship with Karma.

maralascottsblog inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

Why Won’t You Say, I Love You?

You’ve been dating someone for a while and think you’re in love however, you haven’t heard those three powerful words, I love you. Well, maybe because they’re not little words as they’ve been made out to be. Don’t stress over it. Instead, exercise patience coupled with a spoonful of understanding and cup of reality. Love doesn’t have a time frame that’s activated upon meeting someone. One thing most people fail to understand is that love, just like hate, is a commanding sentiment. It’s not meant to be a temporary use of words to get what you want. If it’s real you will unmistakably know because love is unconditional and it doesn’t hurt. If you don’t hear those words perhaps you should step back and evaluate the relationship as a whole. If you push, convince, or force your significant other to say he or she is in love with you that person may learn to withhold their true feelings for fear of disappointment or igniting an argument. Learn to let love happen naturally as it is a raw and natural expression. If someone doesn’t commit to love, understand that it’s simple, they don’t feel that way, and could very well be buying some time in the relationship until they meet the person they fall in love with. Don’t discount the fact that he or she may not know how to love someone if they don’t display self-love. The most important thing to know is that love begins with you. When you know how to love yourself in the complete sense, you know what love is and won’t settle for anything less than the authentic version. Love yourself and bask in the love of God to fill the void of desperation. If someone won’t say they love you, be thankful they’re not lying to you.

maralascottsblog relationships, Self-Love

Is There Such Thing as a Perfect Relationship?

Relationships mean one thing for sure if nothing else, work! Anything you do will take some degree of effort and a relationship is no different. Let’s be honest, everyone has something about him or her that the other person may not like. It could be the way you drive, the music you listen to, or the way you fold their shirt, but that doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t perfect, it means they have things about them that define who they are. We tend to look for imperfections that people have instead of their perfections. If we took time to notice all of the things that your significant other does that made you fall in love with them, you’d be surprised at how good your relationship really is. Stop focusing on the flowers you didn’t get for your birthday but remember the ones he bought you for no reason instead. Don’t compare relationships, work on your own. Stay away from relationships that are riddled with problems and drama or yours will end up the same way. When you keep company with negativity it has a way of invading your life. Your relationship is as perfect as you want it to be. Put God before the relationship and you’ll have a better understanding of what love and perfection is.

maralascottsblog inspirational stories, relationships

The “X” Factor By Aaron Curry

What is the key ingredient to any successful and healthy relationship? One might assume sex, romance, intimacy or honesty, among many other important factors. However, I inquired about the primary ingredient! What keeps the clock ticking? The wheels spinning? The fire burning? There are certain things that can’t go without one specific ingredient without turning out disastrous or tasting terrible. What does kool-aid taste like if you don’t add any sugar? What happens when baking a cake if you omit the eggs or oil? Well, you get my point.

In my opinion, the most pertinent aspect of a relationship, from personal experience, is communication or what I like to call the “X” Factor. What happens if you are playing basketball and you don’t call out the screen for your teammate? They’re going to run smack dead into the opponent! Now, they’re frustrated, upset and confused as to why you couldn’t simply yell out, “Pick!” People tend to have relationship issues when they JUMP TO INACCURATE CONCLUSIONS! And you too may be wondering, how this happens. You fail to communicate effectively! Communication is key to avoiding unnecessary stress in any relationship. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is … I promise!

Lets circle back to the sex, romance, intimacy, honesty,etc. All of these are rather important components of a relationship so what happens if there’s a problem with one of these? What do you deem the appropriate course of action is? That’s right, it still boils down to one thing … you have to communicate or talk through the issue to come to common terms or attain a reasonable solution. Relationships are like algebra problems, they all have an equation that will lead you to the solution. You just might not like the final answer but why try to avoid the inevitable or truth?

AC

maralascottsblog children, Forgiveness, inspirational stories, relationships

Love’s Disappointments By Shonte’a Walls

I’ve been through a lot this year and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of accomplishing as well as overcoming. Everyday I live with the struggle to learn how to forgive and have patients to deal with the ignorance that he and I carry because of the hurt and pain we’ve caused each other. We tried to be lovers, friends and cordial to one another … but failed. Still, we share the responsibility of being parents to two beautiful little boys to whom we’ve somehow manage to succeed and fail in some areas, in front of them. I want you to understand that I know your pain and see it too. And for that I am sorry and ask to be forgiven.

Now it’s time for us to grow up and be responsible for our actions, understand the fault that we each carry and learn from it. We must learn not to make the same mistakes, overcome our problems and become better people. We have to get past our history and learn how live in and co-existence as parents. We have far greater things to accomplish and achieve in this life (that is not promise to you or me)! I am tired and weak from our misunderstandings. Understanding and forgiveness are key to mending our intolerable ways. As adults we must sit and learn to divide what was once united. Love is filled with many disappointments, but the many disappoints we’ve experienced is our own lesson learned. Life’s relationships are not easy nor perfect at all times. It’s up to us to be mature about our faults and blames; not for the sake of you or I, but for the sake of the two people who hold us to the higher standers of responsibility. So let us grow up together and remember it’s not about who is right or wrong. Remember disappointments are just blessings in disguise; and this is our foundation to our blessing.

~sHonte’a m. wall~

P.S –
Remember that in life we have situations and not problems. Situations have solutions, problems don’t! May you continue to find solutions to all your situations and not excuses to your problems  ~smwall~