Do a Little Work on Yourself

When you criticize people, you’re expressing your own inadequacies or insecurities about something. Putting others down is a way people attempt to build themselves up but what they’re providing is a substantial contribution to creating a negative environment. Think before you speak or react negatively. Take under consideration what it is you’re really trying to communicate and why. If you can’t do it respectfully, then wait until you can. Those situations are a perfect opportunity for you to go inside of your own life and do a little work.

The tendency to complain about deficiencies that others have is greater than our willingness to look at our own life and make changes. When you change yourself you can alter your mindset and teach yourself to solicit positive results instead of fixating on the negative aspects of life. That’s when you will experience the manifestation of positive change and perhaps inspire others to change too. There is so much that begins with what you say and how you say it. Keep in mind your body language and actions speak volumes as well. Determine what your true intent is before you communicate your thoughts. If you begin with anger or negativity, that’s what your results will bring. Elect to bring a bit of inspiration instead.

Don’t Inherit Pain That Isn’t Yours

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Many people have personal insecurities that originate from following a path that wasn’t meant for them to take. The decisions and mistakes that your parents or family members have made are not yours. The pain they’ve chosen to inherit isn’t supposed to be passed along to you. Any anger they’ve allowed to destroy their life isn’t waiting to destroy yours so don’t own it.

Each of us has an opportunity to create the life we want to have. It’s up to us to make choices. If one of the choices happens to be empowering others so they use or hurt you understand that choice was still yours. You are not here to relive your parent’s life or that of anyone else. You are not supposed to impede your progress and happiness by carrying someone’s pain as though it is destined to stay in your family or bloodline. You are unique. You are here to live your life, make independent choices and live freely. Your choices will bring about your own results and regardless of how difficult some may be you aren’t meant to live or bask in pain.  Own your mistakes, and learn from them. Stake a claim in faith not failure and accept that you are destined for greatness. –Marala Scott

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Allow Rejection to Strengthen You

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You’re not here to wait and see what happens and it’s not meant for you to leave your future to fate. There are many opportunities that come and go because you waited to see if it would happen instead of making it come to fruition through your own actions. Too often, people are afraid to go after what they want for many reasons and rejection is just one of them. However, you won’t know how to change your game plan if you aren’t rejected. Rejection will strengthen you and help you become wiser if you allow it. Don’t become a product of what already is, be the product. Own your life; don’t let it own you.

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Each Year Brings Wisdom and Strength From Your Past Experiences

Another year is upon us and I believe it to be a blessing to me for the simple fact that I am alive. The opportunity to experience this gift of life continues. When I look back on my journey it amazes me to see the things that I’ve done, shared, and triumphed over. I refuse to give credence to difficulties, as they are now a part of history not my present or future. Instead of burdening my mind with negative situations of the past I focus on my faith, strength and ability to combat and overcome everything that has challenged me. Yes, I say overcome because I have.

My life story is one that many deem unimaginable yet I have moved through and far past it. The horrors I was plagued with did not define me as a person yet, they strengthened me as a woman. Years later, as things began to show promise I found out that while I was raising my two beautiful children, I had multiple brain aneurysms that threatened my very existence. I had to make a choice to trust God and have the surgery or live in fear dragging my children through the emotional journey. I trusted God and had the surgery without an ounce of fear and only telling a handful of people. The reason being is I love who I am and how I’ve lived. Sure, I’ve made mistakes but I’ve asked God for forgiveness and given it as well. I live in Gods light, not my own, and if by chance it was my time, I had nothing to fear. I would have left a trail of love, inspiration, and memories that would not die.

This year I am going to continue to live in faith. I am going to remain fearless as God is always with me. I am going to continue to love and not worry about being loved as it comes naturally when you love from the depths of your heart. I am going to leave an imprint that will change lives. I am going to tell you I love you and mean it, as I want you to know that you are loved and not alone. I am going to advise you to embrace life and its lessons and go get it instead of waiting for life to conquer you. Live this year and begin in faith and clean your slate by asking God for forgiveness and forgiving those that hurt you. Dare to be your best and give your best to all!

Happy New Year!

Marala Scott

This Is The Season For …

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Letting go of negative emotions and reshaping your life instead of allowing the pain from the past or current burdens to overshadow opportunities to lift your spirit. The holiday season tends to be one of the most difficult times. It is a time when we gather together in celebration of the birth of Christ, but many are reminded of the loves ones they’ve lost, being alone, or financial difficulties.

Take a moment to look forward instead of back and develop a plan that will help you progress out of the negative state you are in. Understand that this life is a gift. Yes, we will have things that happen but they are not meant to destroy us. We will have times we may find ourselves alone but that time is meant for reflection to plan and progress without making the same mistakes. Financial difficulties may challenge and shake our core and threaten our family but not our very existence. Thinking outside of our comfort zone can help us to rebound and end up better than we were because we were made stronger because of the very experiences that appeared to weaken us. Look behind you as a reminder of the things you’ve made it through. Let this be the season to display strength and courage as Christ did for us. Be fearless in knowing He is with us and ahead of us in our endeavors. God knows the outcome that we do not. Follow Him in faith.

Understanding the Inevitable Act of Letting Go

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I was doing some Christmas shopping with my beautiful daughter this evening when a young woman behind me in line took a moment to tell me how much she loved the unique design of my cream designer handbag. Her brown eyes lit up as she admired the details. I smiled and said, “Thank you,” as I lifted the strap over my shoulder and began to empty the contents of my new bag. “Since you like it …  you can have it,” I told her. She took a deep breath and stared at me in disbelief before exhaling heavily. Nevertheless, I continued to pass along the contents of my purse to my daughter, and then handed the woman the bag.

“No, you can’t do that, can you? You’re really doing this aren’t you? Where are you going to put your things?” she continued.

“In my pockets,” I replied.

“Why would you do this?” she asked.

“Because you like it. Merry Christmas,” I said with a light wave as I walked away without looking back.

It’s quite easy to find things you love and become attached to them, but sometimes the attachment isn’t always good. When we leave this earth there is nothing in it that we will take with us. Part of the beauty in life is sharing what you do have while you’re here by learning to let go of the things we love most. It doesn’t mean you go around giving away everything, but try it. Take something you love and see if you are able to walk away from it without a second thought or a single regret. When you can you’ve learned something valuable.

Everything in this life is really on loan from God. When we leave, it will stay here. People we love are the biggest test of this while being able to part from material things are a test of our spirit and prepare us for being able to understand the inevitable of letting go. Material things don’t define us and people don’t belong to us. Learn to let go while you can as it makes it less difficult when you don’t think you can. We are forced to let go of things in many unforeseen ways, such as natural disasters. But I’ve seen many do it with grace and begin to rebuild from scratch when it is one of the most difficult things they’ve had to do. Random acts of kindness remind us to let go freely. Don’t wait until you are forced to do so in order to learn this.

Learning To Use Faith

There are many different ways to use the word faith but the meaning is still the same and ends in one having belief, complete trust, and sincerity in his or her intentions. Faith is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof but you remain unyielding. When it comes to doing something you believe in at times you may turn to the person closest to you for support and if they don’t believe that you can accomplish what you are attempting to do, you may not find their faith in you present. Although this can be disappointing you can alleviate that by having faith in yourself as well as in God. If you leave it to someone else to encourage you and they pull that away you do not want to find yourself standing alone void of what’s necessary to continue on what may be a lonely road. Step out on it. Yes, faith. The results will be astounding. Don’t turn back or give up, as at times you may have to walk more than half way to see your goals in sight. How can you expect others to have faith in you if you don’t have faith in yourself? When you have faith you are affirming that God is with you on your journey.

Your Life In Review Before It’s Too Late

When it’s all said and done and your life is over here on this earth, how will people remember you? Will they speak of you as a giver or taker? Were you a lover or did you seek out fights because you were angry? Were you someone who was fair or biased about everything that benefited you? Did you care about others or could you care less? What I want you to ask yourself is, are you on track to leave this world with a memory that you would be proud of? If you have children, will they be proud of you and have loving thoughts that no one can remove? Is your powerful imprint resting on the hearts of many or are many waiting to erase what you have left because it’s too painful? Before the time comes for you to depart from this gift of life, repair, change, and forgive, if even yourself. Take this moment right now to determine that you will live and give to the best of your capability. Make the choice to leave an impression that reflects the person you want to be and are. It’s not too late to begin again.

Family Is …

Many times people keep ties or close relationships with family members that are emotionally unhealthy because they feel they don’t have anyone else or they are supposed to simply because it’s family. Although it’s often said that, “blood is thicker than water,” to the contrary, water is more pure and so are many relationships that are not of your blood.

It’s one thing to love your family in a healthy manner but to have love out of obligation that is only masked behind hate, anger, and resentment is detrimental. Whether it’s you carrying resentment or other family members throwing a series of jabs, if you can’t work it out you’re really doing yourself and them a disservice.

Fighting to keep your relationship intact just to continuously fight brings damaging emotional results, as well as, much wasted time. Make conscious efforts to work towards resolutions and compromise to alleviate stress. If there is something standing in the way of a better relationship with your family that you or they don’t feel can be resolved, then step out of the fight. You may never agree, which means the battle will be ongoing.

Putting your energy into healthy relationships can often bring you more peace, love, and support. God puts good people in your life so appreciate them as you would family because family isn’t always of the same blood. People that love you, show respect, help you thrive, encourage faith, and believe in you are those you hold onto and do the same for.  Don’t stay in a relationship to cause hurt or take it. Sometimes space brings time to reflect and ultimately appreciation.

The Ties That Bind Can Tear Us Apart

The ties that bind are sometimes the very ties that tear us apart, yet we stay within the proximity to allow the pain to continue on the path causing destruction. Because someone is family doesn’t mean that you should allow them to continuously plant deep seeds of negativity that will grow deeper roots of anger and discouragement inside of you. Although family is supposed to be our lifeline of encouragement, trust, protection, and love it doesn’t always turn out that way. It doesn’t mean you are bound to accept their ways as the way it is supposed to be either. You are not meant to remain a victim and let it wear you down until you can’t function to the capacity you are destined. There is much more to life than waking up each day to fight against those you love. Sometimes, a breath of fresh air and a move towards independence is liberating. Although it may seem difficult to do, it is self-destructive to continue taking. Progressing away from family, if done with positive intentions to better yourself and life as a whole, can be healing for all. It will allow you time to grow, reflect, and understand. You may never know where someone’s pain comes from but you will come to realize that his or her pain is not meant to be yours. This life is a journey and the journey is your individual imprint. Use your powerful prayers to bring God’s favor in order to help them heal.

Hard Work + Faith = Success

Self-improvement Comes Through Self-Awareness

Self-improvement comes through self-awareness. Self-destruction comes when you’re unwilling to face reality. –Marala Scott

  The hardest thing about a friendship is that we want to be able to trust our friend with everything we share. Along with trust, we automatically have the tendency to expect friends to agree with our viewpoint whether it’s right or wrong. With a passive, and tearful voice, or angry insistence we seek support for our negative actions when deep inside, the real truth lies unrevealed. We know leaving out the whole truth will undoubtedly make their opinion biased and the problem with that is what we want isn’t friendship. Bullying, forcing, or tricking someone into agreeing with everything we feel or think like a continual support system, isn’t healthy.  In actuality, what is it you want them to support, the truth or you? Having people around to fill your need of being right is like having people on payroll with no input in how the company runs. Take a note from some of the most successful companies and welcome constructive input. If you want to hear what you need to, instead of what you want, select strong, positive, independent thinkers, as friends. We all need to hear things no one else is willing or cares to tell us. Self-improvement comes through self-awareness. Self-destruction comes when you’re unwilling to face reality. The truth may hurt but accepting a positive solution strengthens.

You Think You Have The Power To Change The Past

When you drive down a road you won’t return to, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history such as with life. –Marala Scott

 

It’s interesting how we’re able to hold onto negative experiences and give concentration to what happened instead of creating a solution to resolve those emotions. If you’re reading this, your life didn’t stop because of them. Regardless of what you think, you are meant to go on and persevere. Perhaps you can help someone else along the way. Allow experiences to make you stronger instead of weaker because God willing, you’ll have a long trip ahead of you and will need the strength you’re wasting on negative history. Shift your heart and mindset to make use of the life you have in front of you. Don’t dwell on the one behind you that can’t be altered in any capacity. When you drive down a road, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history. Yes, the road may still be there, but it’s no longer in your future to travel.

Telling People What They Want Instead of What They Need To Hear

Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality does not make a healthy environment. –Marala Scott

I spend a lot of time talking to people and responding to questions in general about life. One characteristic that most people have in common is their ability to ignore reality or the truth when it’s convenient. Many people are afraid to upset or disappoint other people by telling them the truth. I’ve found that the majority already have the answer to their question or know a viable solution. What they’re soliciting is an opinion in hope that they hear something they can manage to do within their comfort level. That’s not reality; it’s denial, which won’t resolve issues. No one can help you if you refuse to look at a situation from an unbiased perspective for what it really is. Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality doesn’t make a healthy environment or emotional state. Make decisions based on reality not the way you’d like it to be.

Don’t Talk Behind Someone’s Back, Tell Them How You Feel

Don’t smile in someone’s face and talk behind their back. Share an honest smile and be real. That’s how you show respect. ~Marala Scott

There’s always something that needs to be said and there are plenty of ways to communicate what you feel to get your point across. There’s no need to be rude just be direct and honest. The problem comes in when you’re friends with someone who you really don’t like but you’re willing to compromise your standards to be around someone. All you’re going to do is talk behind their back after spending the day hanging out, having lunch, or shopping together. It’s disrespectful to talk behind a persons back instead of just telling them what the problem is or how you really feel and why. The problem with the whole talking behind someone’s back is that you end up having the very same qualities you don’t like in that person. There are several words to describe that type of individual, but do you want that description too? Put your communication on a different level by learning to speak what you feel. Do it properly and without malicious intent, but do it. It speaks volumes about your character and it can actually help the other person if they simply have never been told that you or anyone else has an issue with something they do or have done. Dare to be real!

Is the Perception of Your Life the True Reality?

Now Available. . . the special version of Marala Scott’s book,

In Our House: Perception vs. Reality

“In Our House” is the chilling true story of an abusive husband, his wife, and their six children trapped inside of a hellish nightmare.

Recruited by both the CIA and IBM the successful, handsome, and deceptive Colin has rendered countless abusive episodes on his beautiful wife, Alley, and his six children until he finally breaks Alley and she is no longer able to fight back. One day, three women involve Alley in a church that promises to protect her and the children from her husband’s attacks. By the time Alley realizes how they will do it, she finds herself demonically possessed with demons eating away at her. The horrifying undertaking is beyond life and now the children must find a way to survive both parents.

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Let Your Light Shine

One of the most striking characteristics about our personality is that we all have a light and it’s a very bright light to turn on or off whenever we choose. Unfortunately, the majority of time the light remains off as we hold back the things we do best. Typically, it is our level of confidence that determines whether or not we allow people to see it. Your light is your spotlight as to the incredibly talented and gifted human being God created. When you turn on your light to display your talents you’re revealing that you take pride in who you are. That’s a perfect way to communicate how much you love your unique abilities and self. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine instead of standing and holding the light on someone else throughout your life. It’s not boasting; it’s a presentation of the remarkable talents that God gave you. Celebrate them. It may be cooking, fashion, business, music, dance, art, or anything you desire it to be, but turn it on and become a luminary. You may inspire someone to embrace greatness!

Embrace Being Unique

People spend their lives trying to fit in but it’s when you don’t fit that you are truly unique. Don’t ignore your gifts. ~ Marala Scott

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When I see a piece of art what catches my attention is the uniqueness that it offers.  I love when the expression comes from the soul. The beauty of life is that we’re individuals and every piece of art that makes up our personality is what makes each of us unique. Too often we work to suppress who we are to try and fit in. We want to be accepted as being like others but what does that mean? It means sacrificing who you are only to be less than you were created to be. Understand that when you have to try to fit in it’s because you don’t and you should be okay with that. Be authentic. Love the quirky little things you do that make you laugh. Celebrate your passion and share it with the world. Dive into your creativity without regrets and do it with unyielding fire. Trying to belong to something that wasn’t created for you is denying yourself of the gifts that were designed and handed to you by God. Challenge yourself to bring something unique to this world by being the real you. Leave your imprint, not one belonging to someone else and embrace being unique.

The Effects Cheating Has On Children

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We’re all human and our life will be riddled with mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. The problem is when you’re making choices that can have negative consequences for your children. Infidelity is one of those choices. Most people cheat because they feel neglected in the relationship. Others simply want revenge. Some cheat because the ability to do so is available, providing a thrill. It’s your life and a decision you have to live with, but when you have children involved, think before you indulge in a deceptive game that can devastate them along with the person you’re no longer considerate of. When you intentionally hurt someone your behavior is self-destructive as well, because your morals and values are compromised. You’ve crossed boundaries that should never be crossed that way.

Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act of not considering anyone or anything except your own greed, need, and sexual desires. It’s an immoral way to accomplish something. Consider it stealing or taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Perhaps you’ve been hurt and you want to pay the other person back, or the relationship is no longer what you want. The lack of compassion or respect for the other person is bad enough, but the affects that will carry over to your children, whether you see them or not, is another, which can cause the most damage.

It’s easier and selfish to think that your children will forget about the disruption and sometimes devastation to their life or that it won’t affect them if they don’t know. The fact of the matter is, they will remember and if they didn’t know at the onset, sooner or later they will find out. It may come out in forms you may never care to associate with your actions. You may never realize the destruction to their life or if you do it may be when it’s too late. Parents repeat the same loving words, they would do anything for their children, and then they cheat without considering any of the ramifications. When you destroy a relationship, take more than a fleeting moment to consider everyone in that relationship. If you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship with your dignity intact and move on respectfully. Consider the emotional aftermath your children will suffer although they may not say a single word to you about it. Look at the statistics of young adults in therapy because a parent cheated. Now, consider those that aren’t in therapy and have to emotionally find their own way around your actions. That selfish act can damage your children for life. Is it worth taking that risk? The damage may follow them into their adulthood in many identifiable forms you may not care to take responsibility for. Your children begin to learn their value by what you show them. Teach them that they matter to you by doing things the right way. Cheating is an easy way to succumb to self-pity and self-indulgence, but if you have any ounce of love for your children, consider the affect it will have on them first. That emotional damage can lead to other emotional problems and issues that can have permanent or long-term effects. Teach them how to love instead of how to betray someone. Let them see you hold your head up with courage and respect and talk about the problems before it gets out of hand. It doesn’t mean you can’t end the relationship, it means you can’t be selfish enough to worry about your own needs instead of those of your children.I love you is easy to say but I love myself more is what you’re telling your children when you cheat.

Don’t let your children become an uncalculated casualty of your desire to put yourself first. There is more to the action of infidelity than the act itself. If the other person is aware that he or she is breaking up a relationship and doesn’t care, they can’t possibly love you the way you deserve because they are forgetting about your children. There are other ways to get what you want that won’t take causalities or strip you of your self-esteem and morals. Consider others when they are part of the package. Cheaters typically repeat and you may end up in a relationship with Karma.

Why Won’t You Say, I Love You?

You’ve been dating someone for a while and think you’re in love however, you haven’t heard those three powerful words, I love you. Well, maybe because they’re not little words as they’ve been made out to be. Don’t stress over it. Instead, exercise patience coupled with a spoonful of understanding and cup of reality. Love doesn’t have a time frame that’s activated upon meeting someone. One thing most people fail to understand is that love, just like hate, is a commanding sentiment. It’s not meant to be a temporary use of words to get what you want. If it’s real you will unmistakably know because love is unconditional and it doesn’t hurt. If you don’t hear those words perhaps you should step back and evaluate the relationship as a whole. If you push, convince, or force your significant other to say he or she is in love with you that person may learn to withhold their true feelings for fear of disappointment or igniting an argument. Learn to let love happen naturally as it is a raw and natural expression. If someone doesn’t commit to love, understand that it’s simple, they don’t feel that way, and could very well be buying some time in the relationship until they meet the person they fall in love with. Don’t discount the fact that he or she may not know how to love someone if they don’t display self-love. The most important thing to know is that love begins with you. When you know how to love yourself in the complete sense, you know what love is and won’t settle for anything less than the authentic version. Love yourself and bask in the love of God to fill the void of desperation. If someone won’t say they love you, be thankful they’re not lying to you.