maralascottsblog children, inspirational stories, relationships, Self-Love

The Effects Cheating Has On Children

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We’re all human and our life will be riddled with mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. The problem is when you’re making choices that can have negative consequences for your children. Infidelity is one of those choices. Most people cheat because they feel neglected in the relationship. Others simply want revenge. Some cheat because the ability to do so is available, providing a thrill. It’s your life and a decision you have to live with, but when you have children involved, think before you indulge in a deceptive game that can devastate them along with the person you’re no longer considerate of. When you intentionally hurt someone your behavior is self-destructive as well, because your morals and values are compromised. You’ve crossed boundaries that should never be crossed that way.

Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act of not considering anyone or anything except your own greed, need, and sexual desires. It’s an immoral way to accomplish something. Consider it stealing or taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Perhaps you’ve been hurt and you want to pay the other person back, or the relationship is no longer what you want. The lack of compassion or respect for the other person is bad enough, but the affects that will carry over to your children, whether you see them or not, is another, which can cause the most damage.

It’s easier and selfish to think that your children will forget about the disruption and sometimes devastation to their life or that it won’t affect them if they don’t know. The fact of the matter is, they will remember and if they didn’t know at the onset, sooner or later they will find out. It may come out in forms you may never care to associate with your actions. You may never realize the destruction to their life or if you do it may be when it’s too late. Parents repeat the same loving words, they would do anything for their children, and then they cheat without considering any of the ramifications. When you destroy a relationship, take more than a fleeting moment to consider everyone in that relationship. If you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship with your dignity intact and move on respectfully. Consider the emotional aftermath your children will suffer although they may not say a single word to you about it. Look at the statistics of young adults in therapy because a parent cheated. Now, consider those that aren’t in therapy and have to emotionally find their own way around your actions. That selfish act can damage your children for life. Is it worth taking that risk? The damage may follow them into their adulthood in many identifiable forms you may not care to take responsibility for. Your children begin to learn their value by what you show them. Teach them that they matter to you by doing things the right way. Cheating is an easy way to succumb to self-pity and self-indulgence, but if you have any ounce of love for your children, consider the affect it will have on them first. That emotional damage can lead to other emotional problems and issues that can have permanent or long-term effects. Teach them how to love instead of how to betray someone. Let them see you hold your head up with courage and respect and talk about the problems before it gets out of hand. It doesn’t mean you can’t end the relationship, it means you can’t be selfish enough to worry about your own needs instead of those of your children.I love you is easy to say but I love myself more is what you’re telling your children when you cheat.

Don’t let your children become an uncalculated casualty of your desire to put yourself first. There is more to the action of infidelity than the act itself. If the other person is aware that he or she is breaking up a relationship and doesn’t care, they can’t possibly love you the way you deserve because they are forgetting about your children. There are other ways to get what you want that won’t take causalities or strip you of your self-esteem and morals. Consider others when they are part of the package. Cheaters typically repeat and you may end up in a relationship with Karma.

maralascottsblog Happiness, inspirational stories, Self-Love

Loving Yourself by Marala Scott

Although you’ve heard it said repeatedly, you haven’t done it yet. Most likely, you’ve forgotten how because you’re too busy taking care of others. It’s easy to get lost not only in your day but in someone else’s life and forget what’s important. Taking care of yourself is actually a better way to be a great resource for those around you. When you’re happy, you can deal with issues much better. That’s why taking time to recharge and focus is important. It’s not only about your happiness, but your health as well. Think before you raise your voice in anger, you’re hurting yourself more than you know. Take time to exercise even if walking. Indulge in a hobby that you love or find something new. Be open to innovative experiences like traveling places you’ve never been. This life came with a clean canvas. Go discover its beauty and paint your picture the way you want it. Take time to enjoy this gift called life. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t do things for yourself instead, commit to making time for yourself because that is one way of loving yourself. 

maralascottsblog inspirational stories

How Long Will The Past Be Our Present? By Aaron Curry

Should the past have any sort of bearing on a “new” relationship? Is the past an accurate reflection of someone’s true character? And if so, do we have the right to judge someone off of their past? Once a cheater always a cheater, etc. That’s for you to determine, but here is my honest opinion.

I believe the past, although not a definitive reflection, does indeed tell a lot about someones character. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I based some of my relationship decisions upon a womans past. Is that fair?! Not necessarily, but I feel as though it has the same meaning as the saying, “You are who you associate with.” That obviously doesn’t make it right, but am I going to choose the college graduate or the high school diploma?

If someones cheated before, what’s to say they won’t cheat again? If someones lied before, no matter the magnitude of this lie, what’s to say they won’t lie to you? If someones slept with a person “very easily,” for lack of better vernacular, what’s to say if you get in an argument they won’t do that to you? So they have all of these negative occurrences, strikes or whatever you want to call it against them and then they get to you and they’re supposed to be reformed, dipped in holy water, and ready to be perfect. I don’t forget about what they’ve done that easily, I file it for later reference.

When I’m picking the teams for my NCAA bracket, I typically gage the winner of the game based upon their record; losses vs. wins. Occasionally I’ll pick an “upset,” but they have to have one heck of a reason for me to roll with them when they haven’t proven themselves entirely. That’s kind of how this works. I’m going to give you a chance, maybe, but you’re on a short leash because of your past. I might not trust you like I should or the way you want me to, so you’ll have to earn and build that.

The problem comes into play when the man or woman expects you to completely forget their past as if it never existed. They want it to be as if they didn’t do, “this and that” when all of us have some type of past, good, bad or indifferent. The catch phrase is, “That was before you so it doesn’t matter.” Yes, it does. If I robbed a bank before I met you, wouldn’t you want to know. It matters very much so. I’m all for allowing someone to have a clean slate yet the past has much relevance when it comes down to it. It doesn’t mean I won’t give you a chance but it does mean that I’ll be taking everything in and analyzing your moves, decisions and actions. I think if we consider history but not focus on it we can save ourselves a lot of wasted relationships. It allows us to make better choices in partners. It allows us to find people who are like us, not masquerading to be. If you don’t want your past to ruin or invade your future, be careful what you do, whom with, and consider the repercussions down the line. Just something to think about.

AC

maralascottsblog Helping Others, inspirational stories

Celebrate Life’s Gift By Alyssa Curry

A few days ago, I was waiting on a table with an elderly woman and her daughter. They both seemed cheerful and pleasant. I was already busy, but instead of simply asking, “What can I get for you?” I asked them how their day was going. The elderly woman began to tell the story of her battle with cancer and how she was celebrating her first whole year cancer free.  Her daughter added that she was extremely blessed because her mother had cancer for fifteen years and was finally without it. Most people would have seen the glass half empty but they saw it half full. The woman was celebrating being cancer free with a simple meal such as a hamburger and she was enjoying her time with her daughter. Sometimes people go on with their lives so quickly that they don’t take the time to celebrate or appreciate life’s challenges and how they shape us as individuals. The celebration of life shouldn’t be contingent upon anything other than appreciating it but it makes us stronger if we learn to be grateful for it through personal experiences instead of being overcome by it.

-Alyssa Curry-

maralascottsblog inspirational stories, relationships

The “X” Factor By Aaron Curry

What is the key ingredient to any successful and healthy relationship? One might assume sex, romance, intimacy or honesty, among many other important factors. However, I inquired about the primary ingredient! What keeps the clock ticking? The wheels spinning? The fire burning? There are certain things that can’t go without one specific ingredient without turning out disastrous or tasting terrible. What does kool-aid taste like if you don’t add any sugar? What happens when baking a cake if you omit the eggs or oil? Well, you get my point.

In my opinion, the most pertinent aspect of a relationship, from personal experience, is communication or what I like to call the “X” Factor. What happens if you are playing basketball and you don’t call out the screen for your teammate? They’re going to run smack dead into the opponent! Now, they’re frustrated, upset and confused as to why you couldn’t simply yell out, “Pick!” People tend to have relationship issues when they JUMP TO INACCURATE CONCLUSIONS! And you too may be wondering, how this happens. You fail to communicate effectively! Communication is key to avoiding unnecessary stress in any relationship. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is … I promise!

Lets circle back to the sex, romance, intimacy, honesty,etc. All of these are rather important components of a relationship so what happens if there’s a problem with one of these? What do you deem the appropriate course of action is? That’s right, it still boils down to one thing … you have to communicate or talk through the issue to come to common terms or attain a reasonable solution. Relationships are like algebra problems, they all have an equation that will lead you to the solution. You just might not like the final answer but why try to avoid the inevitable or truth?

AC

maralascottsblog children, Forgiveness, inspirational stories, relationships

Love’s Disappointments By Shonte’a Walls

I’ve been through a lot this year and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of accomplishing as well as overcoming. Everyday I live with the struggle to learn how to forgive and have patients to deal with the ignorance that he and I carry because of the hurt and pain we’ve caused each other. We tried to be lovers, friends and cordial to one another … but failed. Still, we share the responsibility of being parents to two beautiful little boys to whom we’ve somehow manage to succeed and fail in some areas, in front of them. I want you to understand that I know your pain and see it too. And for that I am sorry and ask to be forgiven.

Now it’s time for us to grow up and be responsible for our actions, understand the fault that we each carry and learn from it. We must learn not to make the same mistakes, overcome our problems and become better people. We have to get past our history and learn how live in and co-existence as parents. We have far greater things to accomplish and achieve in this life (that is not promise to you or me)! I am tired and weak from our misunderstandings. Understanding and forgiveness are key to mending our intolerable ways. As adults we must sit and learn to divide what was once united. Love is filled with many disappointments, but the many disappoints we’ve experienced is our own lesson learned. Life’s relationships are not easy nor perfect at all times. It’s up to us to be mature about our faults and blames; not for the sake of you or I, but for the sake of the two people who hold us to the higher standers of responsibility. So let us grow up together and remember it’s not about who is right or wrong. Remember disappointments are just blessings in disguise; and this is our foundation to our blessing.

~sHonte’a m. wall~

P.S –
Remember that in life we have situations and not problems. Situations have solutions, problems don’t! May you continue to find solutions to all your situations and not excuses to your problems  ~smwall~

maralascottsblog Happiness, inspirational stories

Real Cougars Are Redefining Happiness By Linda Franklin

What is the cherished gift we spend our entire lives searching for?  The answer is happiness.

Happiness is often referred to as ‘the elusive butterfly’ and that’s because we’re not really sure what it is, where to find it or what it should feel like when we do.  To compensate for not owning that special feeling we spend our lives trying to do things that will distract us from the pain we feel in the pit of our stomach.  We work too hard, watch too much television, spend too much money, sit for hours in front of a computer, drink too much, have sex with the wrong people and the list goes on.

So what can you do today to catch this ‘elusive butterfly’?  Here are 5 principles that have worked really well for me.  I’m not saying that I have this happiness thing completely figured out but I am making progress.

* start looking at every obstacle as hidden opportunity
* don’t compare yourself to anyone else – know what really turns YOU on
* understand that as you grow the things that make you happy change – don’t hold on to the past
* know that inner happiness can’t be taken away – it’s your gift to yourself
* in place of distractions do things that touch your heart

Real Cougar Women are smart, confident independent and proud.
They have stopped listening to other people and now turn inside to get the
answers they are seeking.  Happiness is a gift you give yourself and when
you figure out the secret, nobody can take that gift away.
http://www.threalcougarwoman.com

maralascottsblog Happiness, inspirational stories, Self-Love

You Are Love By Krystal Wilson

LOVE. To some this is a very touchy subject. We often think about our intimate relationships and how they may or may not be. No, that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about. Let me tell you about SELF LOVE!

Now, I’m not speaking of arrogance or being self-absorbed, but simply loving who you are. Yes, I’m talking to you. You know, the one with the pimple on your face. Yes you, the one with the big nose or the lisp, and you with the roll’s or should I say, bakery on your stomach, oh wait that’s me (smile). I didn’t forget about you, the one who thinks she is ugly or not “pretty” enough. Yes, all of you with that hidden insecurity, I’m talking to you as well as myself. We all go through phases where we desperately want to change our appearance, whether it’s because of what someone else said or because we want a particular body. NEWS FLASH: Reality is that we can only be who God created us to be! God says that he created us after his image and his likeness. WOW! He created us the way that he wanted us to be. When you understand this, then it will be very easy to LOVE yourself. You are created perfect so learn to take care of yourself.

It is imperative to love yourself because when you do, then the weight will automatically fall off because you will take care of your body. When you love yourself you will find time to eat right and exercise. Your body is a temple so treat it like one. Do you go into church or related sanctuaries and just start throwing trash all over the place? NO, so don’t do that to your body. Do you go there and curse the Minister or talk to him any kind of way? NO, so don’t allow anyone to do that to you. When we continually allow people to treat us like dirt it’s a true sign that we don’t love ourselves, at the moment. LOVE WHO YOU ARE! If you think that your attitude is horrible, start being nice. If your version of pretty is putting on makeup, then go put some on. We always have room for improvement, but understand you should ONLY want to change something about yourself for YOU and NO ONE ELSE. Focus on things that you love about you, appreciate and nurture them.

Loving Me,

Krystal Wilson

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories, Self-Love

Just Be Still By Wendy Screen

Some things in our lives are just not suppose to make sense right now. Instead of trying to figure things out wrecking your brain we just need to be still and allow God to work.

When things don’t happen the way that we want, there is no reason for us to get down and out about it. Instead, we should be praising God because you have no idea what He has kept us from. What many fail to realize is that God is a healer, a lover of all, a comforter and a protector. He doesn’t need our permission to intervene, He will do what he has to do to protect his children at all cost!

Many times in my own personal life I have been guilty of always asking, “Why?” I just couldn’t understand why bad things happen to good people. Trying to do things my own way and not consulting God first has landed me in some not so good positions. Thankfully, somebody was praying for me when I was too blinded to pray for myself. God allowed me to do it my way long enough to where I had no choice but to look up and say “I need you.” He then removed me from those situations and gave me the mindset to know better and also giving me a testimony of just how good He really is.

God will not send us on stormy paths without providing us with strong shoes. Just continue to count your blessings, be grateful and trust that God is in complete control over every aspect of your life. Peace of mind is available to us when God is the center of our lives. I can remember I used to wonder why and how certain people where so blessed all the time. The truth is, you will never know the trials and tribulations someone else has gone through. It’s the trials and tribulations that bring us that much closer to God. I know this because I’ve been through so much in my young life that God is number one in my fav 5 list (smile).

When you start to worry, stress and even feeling alone . . . STOP! Open your mind and then your heart and focus on Gods promises and where God has placed you because He has a purpose. Whatever your trial or situation, He has a purpose. He will not fail you, He never has. Take a deep breath, listen to what He is trying to tell you and . . .
just be still.

Blessings.

maralascottsblog God, Happiness, inspirational stories

The Right Step By EbonyRose Hendricks

When you walk in life, you can choose the path you feel is right. But one thing you have to know is taking one step back, you have to take 2 steps forward. So many things we as people have been through, can hurt us, but it shouldn’t break us. We live and learn from the mistakes we made. Like my best friend always told me, “God made us a back and a front along with feet. With those feet we move forward to look at our future and not live behind.” Our backs face the past and our front looks onto our present, and future with no regrets of what happened in the past. Just remember, you live and learn. I love the life I live and live the life I love. With that being said, you should too!

maralascottsblog Forgiveness, God, Happiness, inspirational stories

Forgiveness = Joy By Ewing Ikard II

Forgiveness is key to the amount of joy that we will have in our lives. We search so much for happiness from outside things that we forget that true joy comes from within. If joy does not dwell inside, then it will not manifest outside.

We find ourselves holding grudges against people we love and even at times people who are strangers. However, what I have realized is that while forgiving others is hard enough; truly forgiving ourselves is nearly impossible. We are so angry with ourselves for making mistakes, allowing ourselves to be used or misused, or done wrong. Our heart becomes so filled with this that we do not leave any room for joy to enter our hearts.

With Jesus nothing is impossible or even nearly impossible. If we allow Jesus into those situations that we have pinned up in our hearts, He will begin to bring the spirit of forgiveness. When we take our issues to Jesus, He is faithful to forgive us and if Jesus can forgive us then we should able to forgive ourselves. Once we begin to forgive ourselves through Jesus our joy will come from within and manifest on the outside.

We have to let Jesus into our hearts, into our situations and into our minds and let Him have His way and transform us and our situations.Be blessed and as always BE ENCOURAGED!!

maralascottsblog children, God, Happiness, inspirational stories

Smile Once Again By TeResa A. Smith

When we are brought into this world, we will either contribute to it or take from it. I choose to contribute. Even though life has not always been kind to me, something deep inside let me understand that it is much more rewarding to be a blessing rather than a curse. It does not matter from where I came, it only matters where I will take any piece of knowledge that I gain along the way. While some may sit and cry, questioning Gods ultimate plan, over the years I have just thrown my hands up and looked to Him to carry me through whatever crisis that I was going through at the time. If we are never given challenges, we will not be appreciative of the moments that go smoothly, and furthermore, will not learn how to be strong, resilient or grateful. Looking back, I know this to be true. For every tear I’ve cried a smile soon followed and I embraced it and remembered it the next time my eyes began to water.

Waking up in the morning seems like such a simple and trivial thing for most of us, yet some did not experience the privilege. Sometimes it is the simplest things that motivate us or make us smile. We could spend all day complaining about what didn’t go right, but I’d rather look around and be thankful for what did. As I examine where I’ve been and then sit and marvel at where I am, I can do nothing but thank my Lord and Savior. Of all those that He has created He saw fit to allow my life to continue and prosper. He has given me a loving husband, beautiful children and even more grandchildren. What a miracle! To see my children’s children is not something that everyone has been able to do. From me came them and that alone is reason enough for me to praise Him and smile once again.

maralascottsblog children, God, Happiness, inspirational stories, Self-Love

Hope Is What You’re Looking For By Krystal Covin Boyce

My name is KC, I am 27 yrs of age and a mother of three. To others I may look like the typical individual, happy on the outside etc. but in reality I can honestly say that I wasn’t until a couple of months ago. For years I’ve had to battle with ill thoughts, not towards others but towards myself. I didn’t know how to love and appreciate myself , I lacked self confidence/ esteem until two wonderful people came into my life, “Mrs. Scott” & her son “Aaron”.

I read her Memoir “In Our House” and decided to contact her. I was having one of my moments where I felt completely lost and she immediately responded to my message, there I was consulting in someone I didn’t know and with each message I cried and as I write this I am fighting back those tears. It came to the conclusion that God was talking to me through her .

Through Mrs. Scott and Aaron I came to realize that I do have a purpose on earth and God is always there when you need someone to talk to. Because of them I have learned to never give up and reach for my goals, to love and appreciate myself more one step at a time, one day at a time. Just pray and everything will be okay. My ill thoughts are now becoming happy thoughts and I am reaching for my goals and overcoming my fears. So to everyone out there. . . always put your trust in God and he will see you through. He hasn’t failed me once! If it wasn’t for him, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here. Please remember ” Those who walk with God, always reach their destination. Never give up on your goals, be kind to others because the simplest act of kindness might just help save someone’s life . My inspiration came from her. She made it through her childhood then I can most definitely make through my battles and so can you!