You Think You Have The Power To Change The Past

When you drive down a road you won’t return to, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history such as with life. –Marala Scott


It’s interesting how we’re able to hold onto negative experiences and give concentration to what happened instead of creating a solution to resolve those emotions. If you’re reading this, your life didn’t stop because of them. Regardless of what you think, you are meant to go on and persevere. Perhaps you can help someone else along the way. Allow experiences to make you stronger instead of weaker because God willing, you’ll have a long trip ahead of you and will need the strength you’re wasting on negative history. Shift your heart and mindset to make use of the life you have in front of you. Don’t dwell on the one behind you that can’t be altered in any capacity. When you drive down a road, the view behind you narrows until what was once there fades into history. Yes, the road may still be there, but it’s no longer in your future to travel.

Telling People What They Want Instead of What They Need To Hear

Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality does not make a healthy environment. –Marala Scott

I spend a lot of time talking to people and responding to questions in general about life. One characteristic that most people have in common is their ability to ignore reality or the truth when it’s convenient. Many people are afraid to upset or disappoint other people by telling them the truth. I’ve found that the majority already have the answer to their question or know a viable solution. What they’re soliciting is an opinion in hope that they hear something they can manage to do within their comfort level. That’s not reality; it’s denial, which won’t resolve issues. No one can help you if you refuse to look at a situation from an unbiased perspective for what it really is. Tiptoeing around someone’s explosive temper or passive fear of reality doesn’t make a healthy environment or emotional state. Make decisions based on reality not the way you’d like it to be.

Don’t Talk Behind Someone’s Back, Tell Them How You Feel

Don’t smile in someone’s face and talk behind their back. Share an honest smile and be real. That’s how you show respect. ~Marala Scott

There’s always something that needs to be said and there are plenty of ways to communicate what you feel to get your point across. There’s no need to be rude just be direct and honest. The problem comes in when you’re friends with someone who you really don’t like but you’re willing to compromise your standards to be around someone. All you’re going to do is talk behind their back after spending the day hanging out, having lunch, or shopping together. It’s disrespectful to talk behind a persons back instead of just telling them what the problem is or how you really feel and why. The problem with the whole talking behind someone’s back is that you end up having the very same qualities you don’t like in that person. There are several words to describe that type of individual, but do you want that description too? Put your communication on a different level by learning to speak what you feel. Do it properly and without malicious intent, but do it. It speaks volumes about your character and it can actually help the other person if they simply have never been told that you or anyone else has an issue with something they do or have done. Dare to be real!

Is the Perception of Your Life the True Reality?

Now Available. . . the special version of Marala Scott’s book,

In Our House: Perception vs. Reality

“In Our House” is the chilling true story of an abusive husband, his wife, and their six children trapped inside of a hellish nightmare.

Recruited by both the CIA and IBM the successful, handsome, and deceptive Colin has rendered countless abusive episodes on his beautiful wife, Alley, and his six children until he finally breaks Alley and she is no longer able to fight back. One day, three women involve Alley in a church that promises to protect her and the children from her husband’s attacks. By the time Alley realizes how they will do it, she finds herself demonically possessed with demons eating away at her. The horrifying undertaking is beyond life and now the children must find a way to survive both parents.

Purchase through AMAZON

Let Your Light Shine

One of the most striking characteristics about our personality is that we all have a light and it’s a very bright light to turn on or off whenever we choose. Unfortunately, the majority of time the light remains off as we hold back the things we do best. Typically, it is our level of confidence that determines whether or not we allow people to see it. Your light is your spotlight as to the incredibly talented and gifted human being God created. When you turn on your light to display your talents you’re revealing that you take pride in who you are. That’s a perfect way to communicate how much you love your unique abilities and self. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine instead of standing and holding the light on someone else throughout your life. It’s not boasting; it’s a presentation of the remarkable talents that God gave you. Celebrate them. It may be cooking, fashion, business, music, dance, art, or anything you desire it to be, but turn it on and become a luminary. You may inspire someone to embrace greatness!

Embrace Being Unique

People spend their lives trying to fit in but it’s when you don’t fit that you are truly unique. Don’t ignore your gifts. ~ Marala Scott

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When I see a piece of art what catches my attention is the uniqueness that it offers.  I love when the expression comes from the soul. The beauty of life is that we’re individuals and every piece of art that makes up our personality is what makes each of us unique. Too often we work to suppress who we are to try and fit in. We want to be accepted as being like others but what does that mean? It means sacrificing who you are only to be less than you were created to be. Understand that when you have to try to fit in it’s because you don’t and you should be okay with that. Be authentic. Love the quirky little things you do that make you laugh. Celebrate your passion and share it with the world. Dive into your creativity without regrets and do it with unyielding fire. Trying to belong to something that wasn’t created for you is denying yourself of the gifts that were designed and handed to you by God. Challenge yourself to bring something unique to this world by being the real you. Leave your imprint, not one belonging to someone else and embrace being unique.

The Effects Cheating Has On Children

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We’re all human and our life will be riddled with mistakes regardless of how big or small they are. The problem is when you’re making choices that can have negative consequences for your children. Infidelity is one of those choices. Most people cheat because they feel neglected in the relationship. Others simply want revenge. Some cheat because the ability to do so is available, providing a thrill. It’s your life and a decision you have to live with, but when you have children involved, think before you indulge in a deceptive game that can devastate them along with the person you’re no longer considerate of. When you intentionally hurt someone your behavior is self-destructive as well, because your morals and values are compromised. You’ve crossed boundaries that should never be crossed that way.

Cheating is a selfish and cowardly act of not considering anyone or anything except your own greed, need, and sexual desires. It’s an immoral way to accomplish something. Consider it stealing or taking something that doesn’t belong to you. Perhaps you’ve been hurt and you want to pay the other person back, or the relationship is no longer what you want. The lack of compassion or respect for the other person is bad enough, but the affects that will carry over to your children, whether you see them or not, is another, which can cause the most damage.

It’s easier and selfish to think that your children will forget about the disruption and sometimes devastation to their life or that it won’t affect them if they don’t know. The fact of the matter is, they will remember and if they didn’t know at the onset, sooner or later they will find out. It may come out in forms you may never care to associate with your actions. You may never realize the destruction to their life or if you do it may be when it’s too late. Parents repeat the same loving words, they would do anything for their children, and then they cheat without considering any of the ramifications. When you destroy a relationship, take more than a fleeting moment to consider everyone in that relationship. If you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship with your dignity intact and move on respectfully. Consider the emotional aftermath your children will suffer although they may not say a single word to you about it. Look at the statistics of young adults in therapy because a parent cheated. Now, consider those that aren’t in therapy and have to emotionally find their own way around your actions. That selfish act can damage your children for life. Is it worth taking that risk? The damage may follow them into their adulthood in many identifiable forms you may not care to take responsibility for. Your children begin to learn their value by what you show them. Teach them that they matter to you by doing things the right way. Cheating is an easy way to succumb to self-pity and self-indulgence, but if you have any ounce of love for your children, consider the affect it will have on them first. That emotional damage can lead to other emotional problems and issues that can have permanent or long-term effects. Teach them how to love instead of how to betray someone. Let them see you hold your head up with courage and respect and talk about the problems before it gets out of hand. It doesn’t mean you can’t end the relationship, it means you can’t be selfish enough to worry about your own needs instead of those of your children.I love you is easy to say but I love myself more is what you’re telling your children when you cheat.

Don’t let your children become an uncalculated casualty of your desire to put yourself first. There is more to the action of infidelity than the act itself. If the other person is aware that he or she is breaking up a relationship and doesn’t care, they can’t possibly love you the way you deserve because they are forgetting about your children. There are other ways to get what you want that won’t take causalities or strip you of your self-esteem and morals. Consider others when they are part of the package. Cheaters typically repeat and you may end up in a relationship with Karma.

Why Won’t You Say, I Love You?

You’ve been dating someone for a while and think you’re in love however, you haven’t heard those three powerful words, I love you. Well, maybe because they’re not little words as they’ve been made out to be. Don’t stress over it. Instead, exercise patience coupled with a spoonful of understanding and cup of reality. Love doesn’t have a time frame that’s activated upon meeting someone. One thing most people fail to understand is that love, just like hate, is a commanding sentiment. It’s not meant to be a temporary use of words to get what you want. If it’s real you will unmistakably know because love is unconditional and it doesn’t hurt. If you don’t hear those words perhaps you should step back and evaluate the relationship as a whole. If you push, convince, or force your significant other to say he or she is in love with you that person may learn to withhold their true feelings for fear of disappointment or igniting an argument. Learn to let love happen naturally as it is a raw and natural expression. If someone doesn’t commit to love, understand that it’s simple, they don’t feel that way, and could very well be buying some time in the relationship until they meet the person they fall in love with. Don’t discount the fact that he or she may not know how to love someone if they don’t display self-love. The most important thing to know is that love begins with you. When you know how to love yourself in the complete sense, you know what love is and won’t settle for anything less than the authentic version. Love yourself and bask in the love of God to fill the void of desperation. If someone won’t say they love you, be thankful they’re not lying to you.

Loving Yourself by Marala Scott

Although you’ve heard it said repeatedly, you haven’t done it yet. Most likely, you’ve forgotten how because you’re too busy taking care of others. It’s easy to get lost not only in your day but in someone else’s life and forget what’s important. Taking care of yourself is actually a better way to be a great resource for those around you. When you’re happy, you can deal with issues much better. That’s why taking time to recharge and focus is important. It’s not only about your happiness, but your health as well. Think before you raise your voice in anger, you’re hurting yourself more than you know. Take time to exercise even if walking. Indulge in a hobby that you love or find something new. Be open to innovative experiences like traveling places you’ve never been. This life came with a clean canvas. Go discover its beauty and paint your picture the way you want it. Take time to enjoy this gift called life. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t do things for yourself instead, commit to making time for yourself because that is one way of loving yourself. 

How Long Will The Past Be Our Present? By Aaron Curry

Should the past have any sort of bearing on a “new” relationship? Is the past an accurate reflection of someone’s true character? And if so, do we have the right to judge someone off of their past? Once a cheater always a cheater, etc. That’s for you to determine, but here is my honest opinion.

I believe the past, although not a definitive reflection, does indeed tell a lot about someones character. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I based some of my relationship decisions upon a womans past. Is that fair?! Not necessarily, but I feel as though it has the same meaning as the saying, “You are who you associate with.” That obviously doesn’t make it right, but am I going to choose the college graduate or the high school diploma?

If someones cheated before, what’s to say they won’t cheat again? If someones lied before, no matter the magnitude of this lie, what’s to say they won’t lie to you? If someones slept with a person “very easily,” for lack of better vernacular, what’s to say if you get in an argument they won’t do that to you? So they have all of these negative occurrences, strikes or whatever you want to call it against them and then they get to you and they’re supposed to be reformed, dipped in holy water, and ready to be perfect. I don’t forget about what they’ve done that easily, I file it for later reference.

When I’m picking the teams for my NCAA bracket, I typically gage the winner of the game based upon their record; losses vs. wins. Occasionally I’ll pick an “upset,” but they have to have one heck of a reason for me to roll with them when they haven’t proven themselves entirely. That’s kind of how this works. I’m going to give you a chance, maybe, but you’re on a short leash because of your past. I might not trust you like I should or the way you want me to, so you’ll have to earn and build that.

The problem comes into play when the man or woman expects you to completely forget their past as if it never existed. They want it to be as if they didn’t do, “this and that” when all of us have some type of past, good, bad or indifferent. The catch phrase is, “That was before you so it doesn’t matter.” Yes, it does. If I robbed a bank before I met you, wouldn’t you want to know. It matters very much so. I’m all for allowing someone to have a clean slate yet the past has much relevance when it comes down to it. It doesn’t mean I won’t give you a chance but it does mean that I’ll be taking everything in and analyzing your moves, decisions and actions. I think if we consider history but not focus on it we can save ourselves a lot of wasted relationships. It allows us to make better choices in partners. It allows us to find people who are like us, not masquerading to be. If you don’t want your past to ruin or invade your future, be careful what you do, whom with, and consider the repercussions down the line. Just something to think about.


I Am In Love With You By YaShica Ramsey

I am in love with you for all the times you brought me through
Your love is everlasting and that is why I walk with you
You sent your son, because you know that the enemy was not through
He tries to break me from time to time
Always you help me through
He sends them to hurt me, but you will never let that be
I am in love with you because you simply amaze me
You have loved me when I did not love myself
Knew my name when I could not pass any test
You planted me and placed me in a place where I could grow
You send mentors and teachers to show me things I will always know
You have opened doors no man can close
When I have said I have enough you have said NO daughter I want to give you more
I am in love with you, because you have a mercy and grace
I can only imagine how I will feel; on the day, I am able to see you face-to-face
Your son is my wonderful counselor and he always has my back
When the enemy tried to speak against me, he tells him to take a step back
I am in love with you, because I know I do not have to worry when I am going through
No matter if I am in the valley low or the mountain high in the sky I know your love will keep making me rise
You are the only God I know
Awesome in all Your ways
You have taught me how to love, shine and be at peace all my days
I know your love will never cease and that is why I am in love with you today
I am happy you have allowed me in the Kingdom and that is where I will always stay

Celebrate Life’s Gift By Alyssa Curry

A few days ago, I was waiting on a table with an elderly woman and her daughter. They both seemed cheerful and pleasant. I was already busy, but instead of simply asking, “What can I get for you?” I asked them how their day was going. The elderly woman began to tell the story of her battle with cancer and how she was celebrating her first whole year cancer free.  Her daughter added that she was extremely blessed because her mother had cancer for fifteen years and was finally without it. Most people would have seen the glass half empty but they saw it half full. The woman was celebrating being cancer free with a simple meal such as a hamburger and she was enjoying her time with her daughter. Sometimes people go on with their lives so quickly that they don’t take the time to celebrate or appreciate life’s challenges and how they shape us as individuals. The celebration of life shouldn’t be contingent upon anything other than appreciating it but it makes us stronger if we learn to be grateful for it through personal experiences instead of being overcome by it.

-Alyssa Curry-

The “X” Factor By Aaron Curry

What is the key ingredient to any successful and healthy relationship? One might assume sex, romance, intimacy or honesty, among many other important factors. However, I inquired about the primary ingredient! What keeps the clock ticking? The wheels spinning? The fire burning? There are certain things that can’t go without one specific ingredient without turning out disastrous or tasting terrible. What does kool-aid taste like if you don’t add any sugar? What happens when baking a cake if you omit the eggs or oil? Well, you get my point.

In my opinion, the most pertinent aspect of a relationship, from personal experience, is communication or what I like to call the “X” Factor. What happens if you are playing basketball and you don’t call out the screen for your teammate? They’re going to run smack dead into the opponent! Now, they’re frustrated, upset and confused as to why you couldn’t simply yell out, “Pick!” People tend to have relationship issues when they JUMP TO INACCURATE CONCLUSIONS! And you too may be wondering, how this happens. You fail to communicate effectively! Communication is key to avoiding unnecessary stress in any relationship. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is … I promise!

Lets circle back to the sex, romance, intimacy, honesty,etc. All of these are rather important components of a relationship so what happens if there’s a problem with one of these? What do you deem the appropriate course of action is? That’s right, it still boils down to one thing … you have to communicate or talk through the issue to come to common terms or attain a reasonable solution. Relationships are like algebra problems, they all have an equation that will lead you to the solution. You just might not like the final answer but why try to avoid the inevitable or truth?


Love’s Disappointments By Shonte’a Walls

I’ve been through a lot this year and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of accomplishing as well as overcoming. Everyday I live with the struggle to learn how to forgive and have patients to deal with the ignorance that he and I carry because of the hurt and pain we’ve caused each other. We tried to be lovers, friends and cordial to one another … but failed. Still, we share the responsibility of being parents to two beautiful little boys to whom we’ve somehow manage to succeed and fail in some areas, in front of them. I want you to understand that I know your pain and see it too. And for that I am sorry and ask to be forgiven.

Now it’s time for us to grow up and be responsible for our actions, understand the fault that we each carry and learn from it. We must learn not to make the same mistakes, overcome our problems and become better people. We have to get past our history and learn how live in and co-existence as parents. We have far greater things to accomplish and achieve in this life (that is not promise to you or me)! I am tired and weak from our misunderstandings. Understanding and forgiveness are key to mending our intolerable ways. As adults we must sit and learn to divide what was once united. Love is filled with many disappointments, but the many disappoints we’ve experienced is our own lesson learned. Life’s relationships are not easy nor perfect at all times. It’s up to us to be mature about our faults and blames; not for the sake of you or I, but for the sake of the two people who hold us to the higher standers of responsibility. So let us grow up together and remember it’s not about who is right or wrong. Remember disappointments are just blessings in disguise; and this is our foundation to our blessing.

~sHonte’a m. wall~

P.S –
Remember that in life we have situations and not problems. Situations have solutions, problems don’t! May you continue to find solutions to all your situations and not excuses to your problems  ~smwall~

Real Cougars Are Redefining Happiness By Linda Franklin

What is the cherished gift we spend our entire lives searching for?  The answer is happiness.

Happiness is often referred to as ‘the elusive butterfly’ and that’s because we’re not really sure what it is, where to find it or what it should feel like when we do.  To compensate for not owning that special feeling we spend our lives trying to do things that will distract us from the pain we feel in the pit of our stomach.  We work too hard, watch too much television, spend too much money, sit for hours in front of a computer, drink too much, have sex with the wrong people and the list goes on.

So what can you do today to catch this ‘elusive butterfly’?  Here are 5 principles that have worked really well for me.  I’m not saying that I have this happiness thing completely figured out but I am making progress.

* start looking at every obstacle as hidden opportunity
* don’t compare yourself to anyone else – know what really turns YOU on
* understand that as you grow the things that make you happy change – don’t hold on to the past
* know that inner happiness can’t be taken away – it’s your gift to yourself
* in place of distractions do things that touch your heart

Real Cougar Women are smart, confident independent and proud.
They have stopped listening to other people and now turn inside to get the
answers they are seeking.  Happiness is a gift you give yourself and when
you figure out the secret, nobody can take that gift away.

You Are Love By Krystal Wilson

LOVE. To some this is a very touchy subject. We often think about our intimate relationships and how they may or may not be. No, that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about. Let me tell you about SELF LOVE!

Now, I’m not speaking of arrogance or being self-absorbed, but simply loving who you are. Yes, I’m talking to you. You know, the one with the pimple on your face. Yes you, the one with the big nose or the lisp, and you with the roll’s or should I say, bakery on your stomach, oh wait that’s me (smile). I didn’t forget about you, the one who thinks she is ugly or not “pretty” enough. Yes, all of you with that hidden insecurity, I’m talking to you as well as myself. We all go through phases where we desperately want to change our appearance, whether it’s because of what someone else said or because we want a particular body. NEWS FLASH: Reality is that we can only be who God created us to be! God says that he created us after his image and his likeness. WOW! He created us the way that he wanted us to be. When you understand this, then it will be very easy to LOVE yourself. You are created perfect so learn to take care of yourself.

It is imperative to love yourself because when you do, then the weight will automatically fall off because you will take care of your body. When you love yourself you will find time to eat right and exercise. Your body is a temple so treat it like one. Do you go into church or related sanctuaries and just start throwing trash all over the place? NO, so don’t do that to your body. Do you go there and curse the Minister or talk to him any kind of way? NO, so don’t allow anyone to do that to you. When we continually allow people to treat us like dirt it’s a true sign that we don’t love ourselves, at the moment. LOVE WHO YOU ARE! If you think that your attitude is horrible, start being nice. If your version of pretty is putting on makeup, then go put some on. We always have room for improvement, but understand you should ONLY want to change something about yourself for YOU and NO ONE ELSE. Focus on things that you love about you, appreciate and nurture them.

Loving Me,

Krystal Wilson

Just Be Still By Wendy Screen

Some things in our lives are just not suppose to make sense right now. Instead of trying to figure things out wrecking your brain we just need to be still and allow God to work.

When things don’t happen the way that we want, there is no reason for us to get down and out about it. Instead, we should be praising God because you have no idea what He has kept us from. What many fail to realize is that God is a healer, a lover of all, a comforter and a protector. He doesn’t need our permission to intervene, He will do what he has to do to protect his children at all cost!

Many times in my own personal life I have been guilty of always asking, “Why?” I just couldn’t understand why bad things happen to good people. Trying to do things my own way and not consulting God first has landed me in some not so good positions. Thankfully, somebody was praying for me when I was too blinded to pray for myself. God allowed me to do it my way long enough to where I had no choice but to look up and say “I need you.” He then removed me from those situations and gave me the mindset to know better and also giving me a testimony of just how good He really is.

God will not send us on stormy paths without providing us with strong shoes. Just continue to count your blessings, be grateful and trust that God is in complete control over every aspect of your life. Peace of mind is available to us when God is the center of our lives. I can remember I used to wonder why and how certain people where so blessed all the time. The truth is, you will never know the trials and tribulations someone else has gone through. It’s the trials and tribulations that bring us that much closer to God. I know this because I’ve been through so much in my young life that God is number one in my fav 5 list (smile).

When you start to worry, stress and even feeling alone . . . STOP! Open your mind and then your heart and focus on Gods promises and where God has placed you because He has a purpose. Whatever your trial or situation, He has a purpose. He will not fail you, He never has. Take a deep breath, listen to what He is trying to tell you and . . .
just be still.


The Right Step By EbonyRose Hendricks

When you walk in life, you can choose the path you feel is right. But one thing you have to know is taking one step back, you have to take 2 steps forward. So many things we as people have been through, can hurt us, but it shouldn’t break us. We live and learn from the mistakes we made. Like my best friend always told me, “God made us a back and a front along with feet. With those feet we move forward to look at our future and not live behind.” Our backs face the past and our front looks onto our present, and future with no regrets of what happened in the past. Just remember, you live and learn. I love the life I live and live the life I love. With that being said, you should too!

Forgiveness = Joy By Ewing Ikard II

Forgiveness is key to the amount of joy that we will have in our lives. We search so much for happiness from outside things that we forget that true joy comes from within. If joy does not dwell inside, then it will not manifest outside.

We find ourselves holding grudges against people we love and even at times people who are strangers. However, what I have realized is that while forgiving others is hard enough; truly forgiving ourselves is nearly impossible. We are so angry with ourselves for making mistakes, allowing ourselves to be used or misused, or done wrong. Our heart becomes so filled with this that we do not leave any room for joy to enter our hearts.

With Jesus nothing is impossible or even nearly impossible. If we allow Jesus into those situations that we have pinned up in our hearts, He will begin to bring the spirit of forgiveness. When we take our issues to Jesus, He is faithful to forgive us and if Jesus can forgive us then we should able to forgive ourselves. Once we begin to forgive ourselves through Jesus our joy will come from within and manifest on the outside.

We have to let Jesus into our hearts, into our situations and into our minds and let Him have His way and transform us and our situations.Be blessed and as always BE ENCOURAGED!!